Search Results: trying to hook up

I know some of you are going to go off about never using dating apps or trying to find people online period. That’s a separate debate so please don’t bring it up. Not everybody has the time or environment to socialize with singles on a consistent basis.

Anyway I’ve gone real back and forth about ever mentioning sex or even acting flirty with girls I match on dating apps. On one end if she already finds me attractive, is in a good mood and hit her vibe right it can make her more eager to meet up.

However the downside if I just make one wrong comment many women panic and hit the “creep” button. It’s game over and there is little or no room for forgiveness. Often the guy has no idea he’s out. It doesn’t matter if it was an honest mistake or I had no idea she didn’t like a certain comment. Many women just freak.

An even worse scenario is she might just want all virtual sexting and has zero interest in meeting for real. The virtual attention is good enough for her. Most men aren’t satisfied with that. They want to meet someone for real.

Then there is the safe route (and it can be genuine). Just act friendly, funny and don’t mention sex. Many women find this to be non-threatening and are more likely to meet in person.

But a downside with this is she might find me more boring. Some women are deluded/selfish to believe that guys are okay just making “friends” with women on dating apps. Nope. That’s a huge waste of time and effort. That doesn’t mean men are always looking for hook ups. Some of us really want to start a relationship. But there is always at least some romantic interest. Men don’t seek out random women to become “friends” with.

So anyway what’s the best route?

Lesbian women have a much more smaller and specialized pool to select from vs guys. I get that. But they also are not as threatening and virtually have no risk of the “creep” factor when approaching other women.

Good looking guys do get a lot more leeway to approach women when all else is equal. But even they have to be cautious of the “creep element”. These problems include:

- The girl they approach might just be in a bad mood.

- She might already be taken by a very possessive boyfriend (unbeknownst to the guy). A lesbian doesn’t have to worry about a violent backlash from a possessive boyfriend/husband unless she is over the top aggressive. Even then she well be dealt with more softly vs another man

- She might be one of the few women who doesn’t find him attractive (while most others do)

- He might inadvertently say or do something off putting when he was trying to come off as confident and funny.

- A lesbian can be more touchy/feely with other woman and has much less risk of having the other person get upset or worse

Overall woman are much less threatening to other women no matter their intentions

However a lesbian/bi girl does have another big challenge of knowing the other girl likes girls or not. Worst case scenario it’s just awkward if the other girl is 100% hetero. But not a big deal.