Search Results: dating a minor

I have never gotten a second chance after a romantic screw up.

My screw ups were usually verbal. For example there was a girl I was having a fling with 2 years ago. She was cute af but her legs were a bit too briskly from not regularly shaving. I didn’t dare mention anything the first two times we hooked up. However before the third time I tried to tactfully ask her to smooth up a bit for our next hang out. She got pissed & that was the end of it. I tried apologizing a week later (despite her reaction being a bit over the top). She seemingly forgave me but we never met up again.

In my more serious and long term relationships I usually got axed for not communicating well enough over problems. Not saying women can be a unnecessary pain in ass at time. We all know that. But we have to hear them out whether we like it or not at times. However I had to learn a few hard lessons on that one. Still though I have never in my life had a girl follow up weeks or months later after she initially decided to cut it off saying she had second thoughts.

Anyway I personally believe women overall get more second chances than men for romantic screw ups. Especially in the western world. Even more especially if the man & woman are in “the same league”. Men are taught to endure more crap. Maybe sometimes it’s worth it to be patient but other times it’s pathetic (e. g. taking back a cheater). There are exceptions when women tolerate way more bs then they should if they are dating a guy way out of their league. Also some women sadly tolerate horrific abuse but stick around because they have some sort of sick twisted masochinistic pleasure from that bullshit (another topic). But overall they have less tolerance for screw ups as vice versa in my opinion

But in all the rom coms I (once in a blue moon) watched growing up there is a common storyline of the guy making a mistake but later getting a second chance and/or proving himself. But I rarely if ever see that happen in real life.

I feel like my ex was emotionally abusive. I used to really be into her more than she was into me. She used tell me “I didn’t want this relationship, you did”. And when people would ask how we met she’d say “I didn’t wanna date him”. I explained to her how it hurts me when she says these things m. And she’d say “you’re just insecure”.

What’s even worse, she told me about how before we started dating. She went on dates with guys who she really liked and they rejected her. So am I the nice guy who finished last?

I used to be highly attracted to her. She never wanted sex with me, at the same time, complaining that her ex boyfriend didn’t want sex with her. She barely wanted to be affectionate with me.

Even worse, she used deliberately turn me on so she could sexually reject me. Would tell me “come over I’ll lick your balls and your butt” and refuse sex when I show up. Every single time we’d have an argument, even if it’s minor she’d say “you’re getting none”. So I started keeping silent to avoid conflict.

She used to complain that I’m not making her happy and give me reasons why. Which I’ll admit I’m not perfect, I know I have my flaws and bad habits, but. When I’d tell her what she’s doing to make me unhappy she’d reply “you knew I was a bitch when you met me”.

About 3 weeks ago we went to a Thanksgiving dinner at her friends house and I felt like she was kinda flirty with a guy. She seemed very touchy with him. I even saw her put her arm around him. I mentioned it to her a few days later. About how I was uncomfortable with how she behaved with him, and again. Told me “im insecure” and broke up with me. Denied ever putting her arm around him when I saw her do it.

It’s been a couple weeks and I’m still emotionally hurting over her. Haven’t been able to eat or sleep. Having nightmares and visions of her in bed with other men. I’ve dated and had sex with other women since. But I still can’t get her out of my head. What should I do?

A lot of people don’t believe in Karma. I myself have gotten more doubtful over years. There is a zero sum aspect to this world that is unfortunately true. Sometimes you have to step on heads to get ahead. You may or may not have a conscience. If you do have one maybe you have to contend with a guilty conscience. But that seems like a minor price to pay for a lot people given the benefits they can get for their actions.

Anyway I notice people who burn the other gender often make bs excuses for actions because they themselves have been burned in the past. It’s a bullshit excuse because the reality you have with is with that one person and it’s just between you and them. You are not “getting back” at the man or woman who burned you by mistreating an unrelated man or woman. You are not getting your “revenge” You are just harming a person who doesn’t deserve it.

I often blame women for this adolescent behavior. But when I’m brutally honest with myself I confess there have been a few isolated incidents I have done this in my own life. It was particularly during my man whore phase in my late 20s/early 30s. I was never a liar. But I would play dumb with women who I knew wanted a relationship when I just wanted to get laid. I felt some mild guilt about it and but I buried that by remembering how many women burned me for being a “nice” guy in my early 20s. I figured it was “my turn” to enjoy the one way benefits.

But that was wrong. Bottom line is this is really just contributing to a “dog eat dog” shitty cycle that’s making things worse and worse for men and women. We look at scoring one for “our team”. In reality when you screw over someone else in dating they might screw over someone else at some point. There is more distrust. More hate. More selfishness. More toxic femininity. More toxic masculinity.

But Mother Nature meant to bound men and women together for companionship and reproduction. It’s NOT a “my team vs. your team”. It’s supposed to be two halves to a whole.

This depends on the ex.

There are a 1-2 where I would gladly lead on and burn them preemptively. Reason being is what they did to me has never been done to them before. They actually need a painful lesson to see what their shitty decisions can do to people.

For example I had one ex completely ghost me after 9 months of dating after a minor argument. If she had experienced that herself (doubt she ever has) she would think twice about doing it to someone else. I however just never ghosted anybody out of simple principles. I always gave someone closure no matter how uncomfortable it was. But some people unfortunately just don’t have respect and common sense and need the school of hard knocks.

However I would just ignore others and avoid dating them. There is one girl I would have done a better job with communicating/responding with before she made a horrible decision (99.99% sure she cheated). That one could do turned out differently. But I would definitely kept my guard up.