Search Results: getting to know someone

I ask this question because I noticed often times when someone’s trying to solve a conflict where a Partner is let with them, they are more so trying to extricate themselves from an uncomfortable situation of somebody being angry with them.

🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s similar to “just give me the answer” on a maths problem, rather than understanding how you arrived at the answer. Which is always going to be tempting for people at one point or another. But this doesn’t solve the problem long-term because if you don’t know what’s going on and you don’t know what causes you don’t know how to keep it from happening again, if that’s not possible sometimes conflicts come up repeatedly.

🫤 I tend NOT to see much trying to _understand_ what is happening with the other person.. what is really making them upset.

I’m sure you have seen solutions for getting out do the 🐶 🏡 that have nothing to do with learning anything, rather ways to hopefully placate the other party.. gifts treats surprises favors etc. Thats stuff is absolutely bonkers to me. Here you have a solid learning opportunity that can help everyone long term and you try to buy it off. 🤯

Or the lazy generic “how do you get a woman to forgive you” “ how do you get a man to not be angry” nothing about what that actual person is experiencing and what brought out the maybe overly dramatic reaction in that moment.

I think many people would even be _annoyed_ if they were upset and someone started asking “what are you going through? What’s happening with you, what even caused this?”

🧐 I find it very _interesting_ when someone’s really upset. I tend to not get defensive because I’m more interested in understanding what’s going on over having a fight… I mean, unless of course I’m being accused of something absolutely ridiculous that has nothing to do with me- that is annoying af 🤨 but otherwise I’m more into taking an observing position.. I have observed this can be irritating to people who are very angry, however not my intent. 👀

We’re currently in a dating app era & the idea behind dating apps seems practical yet you hear more bad than good things about them. Almost 30 & I’ve never been in a LTR, I have accomplished everything I currently want out of life but been able to find a quality guy. I’ve owned a condo & strive to eventually own a home in a few years, are dating apps to blame behind being single or is there more to it (aka am I the issue)? I’ve been told I’m attractive by all kinds of people for a good chunk of my life but I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (getting checked out doesn’t count).
The only times guys I find attractive have acknowledged me were on dating apps, it’s just there’s times where maybe I feel burnt out & can’t be bothered to end up meeting that guy in person.

Or when I feel like I have *options*/ I’m in a mood where I just don’t want to put in the effort. And when the app outlook looks dismal at a given moment (like now), I consider deleting & reinstalling at a later time. I get bored after communicating too long etc, it may seem like self sabotage topped with my terrible anxiety but I’ve never felt SO unsure about something in my life & that *something* is dating. Unsure if my lack of libido/lack of interest in being sexual might play a part (no health issues). There’s always that voice in the back of my mind that makes me think the right guy will change all of that but who really knows. I’m worried I’ll be shriveled up & when I finally have that drive, it’ll be too late to find a match. I heard an influencer say the other day that there shouldn’t be pressure or a rush to date, it’s an opportunity that’ll always be available.

TL; DR: Is dating hard for most? And is my case bad luck or someone unsure of what she wants?