My mother implied I cheated on my husband during dinner at the restaurant. What should I do?

[RoweMPS]

We've never been close, so dating and boys weren't something we talked about, among other thing.

I have already been with my husband for 7 years. For some reasons I was getting teased about my STEM studies and how girls had and easy time with dating. Then my mother just mentioned how I was dating "Some Guy" named PAUL.

I refuted. And that was the truth. That guy, PAUL, flirted with me back then. I was still a minor, and he was 8 years older than me. Nasty story, he used to hit his dog. He's someone I'm not keen on thinking about, then I probably made a mistake by mentioning him even if it was just to complain.

Back to my mother. She WENT ON AND ON about how I was the one that was clearly mistaken, how I was still dating PAUL in STEM and how SHE remembered right. And God knows how my mother LOVES being right. I tried to argue. However, we were at the restaurant with the whole family, and we were starting to make a scene.

It became awkward, I got with my husband in highschool.

Help?

Updates

1 y

What should I say to my husband?

[Makeushiver]

Was there, perhaps, a cocktail or two, a bit of wine perhaps. Just has the sound of it but sorry if way of base & none of my biz anyway. I'm surprised you let her get that far. I think you should have clearly stated. " Mother, you are either drunk & mistaken or just mistaken. Beyond that, it is not a topic that is appropriate fore the time and place so stop now and I will discuss this- as well as a few ground rules for future conversations so I can trust you in a public setting. No, "I was just or "But. Shut it down and if she doesn't get first message then amp it up until you are close to causing a public nuisance. My opinion, anyway.

[RoweMPS]

That would work if my mother was reasonable.

The one thing that ticks her off, is when she believes I am mistaken, and she is right since she knows better than me. That's an argument, when started, that I'm never going to win or to end, no matter the subject. Because the subject doesn't matter but winning an argument IS.

The only thing I could have done to end the matter was apologising and conceding, which, I wasn't going to, for obvious reasons.

[MisterWack]

You should explain to your husband this exact post you made (don’t have to show him the post just talk it out how you feel), it shows how hurt you were in that situation & you feel betrayed by your asshole mother.

Stand up for your relationship, don’t let her tear your love down. You worked too hard to let it slip away… You would never cheat on him with this PAUL Douchebag! Tell him how you feel and that your mother is a liar & manipulator!

[natured]

Well how did your husband react? Your mom seems like a narcissist... in this case you cannot even talk to her so just let her be.
But the most important thing is to talk things throug with your hubby. Maybe even avoid family dinners for a while now. Your mom sounds aweful sorry

[avery58]

Wow... why would your own mother sabotage you like that?

Talk to your husband and just be honest with him and tell him how you feel about everything that happened at dinner. I guess it'll just have to come down to how much he trusts you.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating family drama, especially with a sprinkle of accusation in the mix, can feel like walking on eggshells, can't it? Here's a lover's lane to explore: communication is key, darling. Have a heart-to-heart with your hubby first; reassure him and clear the air if there's any cloud of doubt. As for your mom, consider setting up a moment to chat in a neutral, calm environment. Express openly how her comments made you feel and stress the importance of your truth. It's about setting boundaries, not building walls. If the thought of confrontation sends shivers down your spine, penning down your thoughts in a letter might just be the cupid's arrow you need. Remember, love, it's about preserving peace in your heart and ensuring your relationship with your hubby remains as strong as ever. Sometimes, turning the other cheek with grace and focusing on the love that surrounds you is the bravest battle strategy. Keep your chin up and your heart open.

[DrPepper12]

I'm not sure there's much you could say. Your mother is perceived as an authority on your life prior to your husband and even during that time. Her story carries weight.

[Nikki1989]

She more than crossed a line right there. Disgusting.

[exitseven]

it sounds like your mother is starting with dementia.

[LiamJHayden]

Sound like a toxic parent with either a bad memory or who is intentionally trying to ruin your marriage. Keep your distance.

[jahaims]

Why would you have to say anything to him. He should always believe you unless you have proven to be untrustworthy

[Iron_Man]

Well, you know the truth you either did or you didn’t

[Intheclouds00]

Because she wants to fuck your husband