Guy I'm falling for kissed another girl, not sure if I should continue?

[helpha]

I've been seeing a guy since April who started as fun, but now it's become more serious and I've fallen for him. I got out of a 4 yr abusive relationship in December, so I've been hesitant to make things official because of this. I have always felt really safe and confident about his feelings for me, but started feeling insecure the last few weeks. We went to Greece together and i felt super close to him and it turned a leaf for me - I was basically all in after that. Well, he went to Greece again the following week with friends and told me last night that he kissed a girl at a club for a second. Im hurt because this happened after our feelings crossed a certain point.
We had both agreed we wouldn't see other people, and I stuck by that, and I always trusted him. He explained he's been getting in his head because he likes me so much and doesn't know where this can go because he might leave the country a year from now, but also doesn't know if he will stay, so starting a relationship is a risk for both of us. He also said technically he's single and we have to define what we are, because it's getting more real, but we had agreed not to do anything and he kissed someone so Im still really hurt. I trusted him and saw him as such a warm person in my life and now it's just cold, like it feels ruined. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable because my past was traumatic, because we weren't exclusive. I know he cares about me deeply, he is always very intentional and caring towards me and has even said i love you twice while we were fucking, but I didn't respond because it was during sex. I told him I don't know if I can see him after this on the phone last night, and he said sorry about 100 times and didn't want to hang up becuase he's scared he won't hear my voice again. His nose was stuffy too, so I'm not sure if he was upset.
i don't know how to move forward and feel like I have too much trauma to deal with these feelings. What do i do?

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of a blossoming romance post-trauma is like trying to dance on a moving surfboard, isn't it? It's thrilling yet terrifying! 🏄‍♂️ Your feelings are valid, especially with your history. It's like you've been cruising on this love wave, only to have someone toss a jellyfish in your path. Ouch, right?

Let's break it down: you've caught feelings, which is beautiful, but now there's a breach of trust. That's a red flag waving in the sea breeze of romance. 🚩Remember, actions speak louder than apologies whispered between sniffles. He says he cares, yet his actions left you questioning everything. It's crucial, darling, to define what you both want from this relationship. Are you both surfing the same wave or paddling in different directions?

Given your past, it's natural to feel hesitant. Trust is like delicate crystal, easily shattered and difficult to piece back together. You're not being unreasonable; you're being protective of your heart. And rightly so!

Here's a flirtatious piece of advice: Communication is the lifeguard in the sea of love. Have a heart-to-heart, define your relationship, and express your needs and fears openly. If he's truly the warm person you believed him to be, he'll understand and make efforts to mend the trust. But if you're still feeling adrift, remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you, my dear, deserve someone who wouldn't even think of casting their net elsewhere when they've already caught a gem like you. 💖

[eagle1951]

why not