Search Results: love lonely

I have consistently observed certain kind of up down up pattern in my real life. First I ignored my actions by thinking it as childish but, then I started to observe a certain pattern. My grades were falling and I had difficulty in maintaining consistency. Even if I succeeded to get good marks, it overwhelmed me so much that in upcoming semesters I fail in my exams knowing full well that it is not good to procrastinate or wait till very last moment. I could not make time tables or follow a routine life. I have planned so much to do in winter weekend and even bought subscriptions to home meditation and workouts but still I could not do, nor I could complete my online courses which were due for upcoming month. Only thing I did was to fester about it, get anxious and watch Netflix. When Netflix series gets over i switch to Amazon prime video or Disney plus subscription or watch YouTube videos or those shows that I don't normally watch just to escape the pending work. This behavior increases ten folds before exams. I know the subject, like the subject but could not complete a single page in one day knowing full well that it can impact my grades. I could not maintain my attention long just to talk to people get impatient and roam in my own dream world like a space cadet. I am not able to make friends , connect with new ones or enjoy my vacations peacefully as my mind wanders here and there and everywhere. I planned to explore France and bought a French learning subscription but the results were same , and so was for Tinder to find love this Christmas. I haven't got any matches yet , but I doubt that my relationship will last with my current emotional behavior. I am overreacting , self sabotaging and creating chaos small things for absurd reasons. and getting lost in memories of past and it repeats over and over. My new year resolutions are pending. I am struck in a time loop of repeating mistakes and not able to move forward. I received advices that I am putting in polls

For me. No one cares about me. I feel very alone. I feel I sometimes don’t deserve love ❤️
I’m lonely. How does everyone else have friends and partners? It’s like to just falls to them.

I have had this extremely heavy burden weighing on my shoulders for the longest of time.

I am 27 and never had a real girlfriend. I feel my life is over in terms of having a girlfriend, a wife, and a family one day.

I want a woman where we can be each other's first loves. I seek a woman where we can be each other's first boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't want to give my heart away to a woman who has loved someone romantically before, especially from her youth. I just don't know if I will ever find her.

I deal with this every day. The depression, the anxiety, and the overwhelming sadness. I am hurt.