Search Results: before seeing a girl

I’ve been seeing this girl Selina for 2 weeks now. We’re not official and have only gone on one date but it was with a group. Her best friend Pam seems to like me too, but she might be testing me.

We all go to the same church. I usually sit on the right side in the 4th row from the front. Selina usually sits in the front with the praise team and Pam sits in random places.

Last service, Pam gets to church before me and sits in my spot. I look at the row in front but I see a purse blocking 3 seats so I sit in the 4th row a few seats down from Pam. As church starts filling up, Pam grabs the purse, looks at me, and says, “Guess church is gonna be packed today”. Then she moves all the way next to me.

Selina goes up to sing during song service and constantly looks over at us. Pam keeps brushing up against me and singing in my ear and I keep scooting away from her.

Then after service, Pam starts playing with her hair and asking me questions about my friends and future travel plans. I keep it brief and go find Selina.

As I said before, they’re best friends. Is Pam trying to test my loyalty to Selina? Or does she like me too and is trying to win me over? If Pam likes me, how can I make her respect me & Selina even though we’re not official yet? If she doesn’t like me, is she testing me and how can I get her to stop? I do not want to deal with her annoying behavior every week at church if she keeps this up.

A few days ago I was talking on the phone with a close friend of mine from the last place I lived. I was telling him about this new girl I’m seeing and he asked, “Is she the only one?” I asked him what he meant by that.

He said that he was only telling me this because he “cared about me”. He said that not too long after I moved away, 1 girl I used to have feelings for had a gathering with him & several people to talk shit about me. They said I was too thirsty, the girls didn’t know which one of them I really wanted, & I didn’t make any of them feel special.

I lived in this city for 4 years & tried to get to know 5 different girls over time, not all at once. The girl who hosted this talk is the 1st I liked. She rejected me, I moved on.

The 2nd girl approached me first and made the first move. I talked to her 2 months after the 1st turned me down. The 2nd girl curved me & the 3rd girl approached me 3 months later. I talked to her until she popped up with a new boyfriend so I left that alone. 3 months after that, the 4th girl sat on my lap at a dinner party and we talked for 4 months before I even asked her out and when I did, she got upset because it wasn’t a group date then ghosted me. A year & a 1/2 went by until the 5th girl snatched my phone to take a picture with me and we talked until she was no longer interested.

While I was talking to each of these girls, I wasn’t talking to anyone else. My only focus was the current girl at the time. None of these girls are even close friends besides the 3rd and 4th girl.

Their ultimate conclusion was that they didn’t want to have the reputation of being “the 1st to give me some” or “the one I finally got”. My friend agreed with them, but he wasn’t acting like this when I was living there. He seems fake to me. Part of me is glad he told me, then the other part of me wants to cut him off for co-signing their bullshit. Is he real for telling me or did he stab me in the back?