Search Results: end the relationship

These are both awful scenarios but before answering which is worse really take time to analyze because for me initially I chose one to be worse and I thought of it more and more I realized that for me the other situation was worse than the one I initially felt was the worse one so I’m curious what others conclude between these two awful situations

1st scenario

your partner cheated and when it all came to light he confessed and repented and explained it happened because I felt unloved and lonely (you’ve been rejecting your partner for years now depriving your partner of sex) not a reason to cheat, there never is but it is what lead to the present situation and wants to make it work and learn to communicate

the right thing to do there was to communicate and reach an agreement but humans make mistakes and that’s what happened and realized it only after the fact & trying to make things work to mend the broken relationship.

2nd scenario

you find out your partner has been sending videos of you both having sex where you’re full exposed and naked with people that you see regularly and the people watching it are other married people but their partner also doesn’t know that their partner is watching that stuff.
Doesn’t want the relationship to end and has apologized

Which of these is worse and which is less hurtful and which one is more likely to end in the relationship actually overcoming the awful situation?

I have two friends: both are 40, have chosen the single life for years. One is a guy, he was friends with a girl in her early 30’s for a year and dated her casually for a year before he finally decided she was the one and asked her to be his girlfriend. After one year of seriously dating, he proposed marriage at Christmas. They married two months later. He’s a guy, we’ll call him Ryan. Him taking his time is fine.

The other friend is a woman (we’ll call her Tara), she’s been “seeing” a guy (also 40) for at least 9 months. They haven’t labeled it yet, every time I ask her when she’s labeling the relationship she always says “we’re taking our time with it, keeping it casual and just being friends first”. I love Tara, but she’s out of her freakin mind. I demanded my boyfriend to define the relationship after 5 months. Tara does want this guy, but she just lives in her own little shell and won’t demand what she wants. She just sits back lets things happen and says she wants him to define it in his own time (I told her drop his ass if he doesn’t define it at the end of this month).

It’s fine that Ryan took his time. He’s a guy and it’s more socially accepted for him to put off relationships and marriage. For women I don’t understand it though. I feel like when we go that route, we get used, we get our time wasted and we get hurt. I think Tara is making a huge mistake, but my boyfriend says she’s not. What if she defines the relationship and then decides she doesn’t like him after all (that’s his logic). Maybe because I’m also dying to matchmake her and there’s a friend of my bf’s who I want her to meet (because he’s dying to date her and I think they’re perfect for each other).