What should I do if my partner judges me for my past?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been together for 8 months and I truly love him. He’s been kind, supportive, and we’ve shared so many beautiful memories. But ever since I opened up about my past casual dating, just like he had he’s changed. He says he sees me differently now and even called my past “repelling.”

What hurts the most is how hypocritical it feels. He had a similar past, yet I’m the one being judged. We’re currently on a break because of this, and I’m scared it might be the end. I’ve always been honest, even about still being acquaintances with a couple of people from dating apps (strictly friends). But now he brings it up constantly.

A part of me feels like this is rooted in sexism… but another part just misses him so much.

Can a relationship survive if one partner can’t accept the other’s past? Have you been in a situation like this what did you do?

[SueShe]

No, a healthy relationship will not resist to that kind of problem. You share just as much responsibility as he does because if you would have played with open cards from the start, he would have been able to make his decision, knowing all the facts, just like you had the option not to go into that relationship knowing his past.

An adult will keep an average of 13 secrets from their loved ones? Psychologist Michael Slepian, associate professor at the Columbia University in New York reveals in a paper that humans start to understand that things can be hidden from others already at age 4. He interviewed more than 50,000 people and came to the conclusion that those people have an average of 13 secrets they are not revealing.

It is however wrong to be judgmental after having received such confidences.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to share my similar experience but you’re ignoring everyone so it would likely be a waste.

[Anonymous]

Own it! That's all you can do. A woman's past if there's a lot of guy IS repelling. But even worse than that is a woman that lies about it. You may not have lied but you did take your time revealing your past. Right now he's probably wondering, "what else hasn't she told me". I'm not giving him a pass on HIS past. His SHOULD BE just as offputting to you. And there's a part of him that should find it regrettable. Either way, if you GENUINELY love him and he is not just another on your journey, and he doesn't let go of this. Than you've lost nothing.

[ohsheeT]

Nothing will be the same

Sad to say there are many insecure guys out there the moment you talk about another guy you have been with there head never shuts down. He will always be comparing himself to him lol and then he will start causing you of things .. you want tobrun from a guy like this it just gets worse

[civic]

Honestly, when one partner can’t accept the other’s past, a relationship can’t thrive. This shows a lack of trust and respect. If he judges you for something he did, that’s a huge red flag, hypocrisy and double standards are not healthy. You deserve someone who embraces your past, not someone who uses it against you. Don’t settle for anything less than someone who fully respects you, past and all. Trust your instincts.

[angels]

You deserve a partner who sees your honesty as a strength not a flaw. If someone uses your past to shame you while excusing their own, it’s not love, it’s control masked as morality. Relationships require trust, empathy, and mutual respect. If he can't move past your history, that’s his insecurity, not your burden. Missing him is normal, but don’t lose yourself for someone who only accepts the version of you they’ve idealized.

[apartment]

If he can't accept your past and judges you for it, it’s likely not going to work. You’ve been honest, and if he’s still holding that against you, it’s a sign of insecurity and hypocrisy. A relationship built on judgment and double standards won’t last. You deserve someone who sees you as a whole person, past included, without holding it over your head.

[jahaims]

He should judge you just like you should judge him. Being a slut means they make poor choices. It should be judged

[BarryLiverstone]

Why are you on a break because of your shared past? Did he say how long the break would be

[Hilbaby]

Walk away because nothing you ever do would be good enough. He or she would always see the old you

[EmmiL]

Break up

[zombiewoof]

Wrong partner