Flirting

Is my boyfriend’s friend into me?

Hi everyone,

I’m in a committed relationship, but something has been going on with one of my boyfriend’s close friends — let’s call him “J” — and I genuinely don’t know how to interpret it. I’m not good at reading social cues or subtle signals, so I really need outside opinions on this. Since we met 3 years ago, J has shown small but steady signs of attention. For example, one time it started raining and he gave me his sweatshirt, even though he ended up without anything to cover him. In group settings, he’s often physically close, in a casual but very comfortable way. If I’m cold, he’ll be the one to offer me his jacket without hesitation, even when one night other girls in the group were cold too.

He’s made some subtle compliments as well. Once when I was dressed up for a party, he told me I looked beautiful as he left early. Another time, while I was applying makeup on his face for Halloween (we were very close), he looked into my eyes and said, “I didn’t know your eyes were that dark.” It felt intimate in a way I couldn’t quite ignore.


But the moment that confused me the most happened recently. We were sitting around at a pre-party and I was next to my boyfriend on the couch. Suddenly, I felt someone caressing my foot with theirs. I didn’t react because I assumed it was my boyfriend — but then J said, “Wow, no reaction at all, huh?” That’s when I realized it was him. What really throws me off is that he sometimes jokes around with the guys, saying he’s “not into Black girls” (I’m Black), which makes me assume I’m just imagining things 😭

So… is this just weird friendship stuff or is there something more? Is he into me? Or am I just completely misreading this? (Also, English is not my first language — sorry if there are any grammar mistakes!)

Is my boyfriend’s friend into me?
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