My Partner and I Are Both Women. How Do I Handle Her Not Ready to Be Open About Us?

[LilCorgiXx]

I’m in a relationship with my partner, and we’re both women. She’s not ready to be open about us yet, and we’ve agreed to eventually tell one close friend , but it’s been difficult. After months of fighting about it, she finally agreed to tell her, but when I suggested telling her parents next year, she said no. She wants me to respect her pace, but it’s really hard for me. We’ve been together for 8 months now, and last November, she came out to her mom, who has since accepted her. I’m struggling because I feel like if we keep going like this, we might never tell anyone — even though I truly believe it’s important to be open about our relationship. I love her, and I don’t want to end things, but I also don’t want to feel stuck forever. How do I balance respecting her pace and my own need for us to be open? How can I help her see that being open is a necessary step for us to have a real future together?

[Stevepro68]

My current girlfriend is bisexual and she struggles with this she was married to a nightmare and had one child. Later dated both men and women. Ended up with a lesbian partner for 8 years. She is Asian Latino decent some of her fathers family is very religious. She always gets anger, anger from her religious family about her bisexuality and anger from her friends in the gay community who ostracized her because she went with a straight man five years ago. I am not sure where the anger comes from. I cannot understand why people care what people do in the bedroom or with who. But people really really have a hard time keeping their life experiences out of other people's lives. I don't know what it's like but I see what it does to her. Everyone is different it hurts me for a long time when she wouldn't let me go to gay pride day to support her. She knew her friends just wouldn't understand. Or how I have a hard time with the fact that her family now treats her old relationship like it didn't happen so that they pretend she isn't who she is.. I've never felt like I had to hide who I am so I don't know. But I see the pain and anguish she goes through, and sometimes she loses people forever. It's easy to say they weren't really my friends or I am better off without them. But really it's hard and she is 35 year old woman who is strong and confident. At your age I can't imagine it. I will at this you need to talk to someone about this mostly her. If you care sometimes you have to make it about her. Like I stay home and not go to the gay pride events, even though it makes me insecure. And accept that she lost her girlfriend but stayed best friends, hid me from her because she knew it would end her friendship... and then it did. I watched helplessly cry spontaneous for weeks and just felt useless and the cause of pain. You don't want that trust me. Your girlfriend has to come to terms with her reality and her relationships in her own time. Pushing it out in front of your relationship is selfish in my opinion.

[LilCorgiXx]

Yes but it can't be a secret forever im nlt doing this for me but for her too

[LilCorgiXx]

But is it worth waiting 2 years my parents are telling me to end things

[Stevepro68]

You are very young so I am guessing so is she. 2 years seems like a long time. But when your old like me it's not much. To sandy 3 years to reveal me to the crowd if that gives you any reference. And she has come out to her religious family a long time ago so it wasn't like she hadn't done that before.

[LilCorgiXx]

Im 18 and she turned 19 yesterday

[Stevepro68]

If this is your only issue you have a tough discussion with her. And how it makes you feel. You also have to decide if this is really your most important issue in your relationship. Dating is never easy but it's worse outside of the conventional. It takes some strength and you need to have a firm grasp of why this is important to you right now.

[LilCorgiXx]

We spoke and we planned to tell a close friend first

[DonaldDarko]

I don't know. Too bad there isn't a whole country where all homosexuals could have to themselves. I think this would be the best thing. It would immediately remove all conflict and you'd have your own rules and laws. None of this stuff would matter there.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating a relationship where one partner isn't ready to be fully open is a delicate dance, love. Your desire to scream your love from the rooftops is totally understandable and, let's face it, pretty romantic. But patience, sweetie, is your best friend here.

You've already been stealthy ninjas for 8 months, so why rush now? Focus on creating a supportive, low-pressure environment. Let her see the world won’t crumble if a few more people know about you two. Each step is a small victory and deserves a celebration. A little compromise, understanding, and some loving nudges might just work magic. Patience and understanding can create the foundation you both need to shine together! 🌈💖

[Danny_dan92]

You cannot force someone to do something. Either she’s comfortable or isn’t.




It’s up to her.