Getting my wife to be in an open relationship, how?

[Anonymous]

My wife and I have been married for a few months but have been together for 6 years total. Started out friends, then began dating. In the beginning of us dating she went and slept with this prior guy for a weekend. She was his side chick. It hurt because we were technically together. Maybe exclusive maybe not. Anyway, for a good year I was mad about it. But part of me really gets turned on by it. Over the years I dropped hints that I thought it would be exciting if she went to f**k this guy again. I’m pretty sure she hooked up with him at least once more about 6 months after and def when we were “exclusive “. It’s okay, I’ve slept with a few girls myself. This past week I told her I would really think it was fun for her to sleep with this guy. She loves arrogant a-holes. But she flat out refuses. Sometimes she says maybe a day will come when she changes her mind but she refuses with this guy. However, when I dirty talk about it in bed, about this particular guy, she gets super wet. Wetter than I’ve ever seen her under any occasion. I’m a sexual deviant and get turned on with my SO banging other people. How do I get her there too? And be honest about jt? I feel like it’s in stuck mode

Updates

7 mo

To clarify, I have not and will not sleep with others outside the marriage. In the beginning when she admitted to sleeping with that guy, I had slept with a few people. Then we got exclusive after. 6 months later pretty sure she saw him again.
Now, I get turned on by the thought of her being with others.
I don’t need a lecture from the morality police. If you have a lecture save it for someone else

[_Maya_]

So lete get this straight. You think she probably cheated on you and that's cool. You definitely cheated on her and never told her and that's cool and then you've been married not but half a year and you think hey let's bring someone into our marriage and bedroom? Well if that ain't a rock solid couple I don't know what is. How about you stop dropping hints and enjoy your marriage and make it to your first anniversary without one of you two fucking someone else. Make it a goal. Why did you guys even marry is what I'm wondering?

[Asker]

I haven’t slept with anyone while married. The only other people I slept with was that week when she admitted she went to sleep with that other guy. I felt it was only fair.
I don’t plan on sleeping with anyone outside of the marriage. It’s a kink that I want her to do. Not me.

[Asker]

Also I don’t want a lecture about how bad of people we are. I understand this isn’t for everyone. If there is a lecture it can go to someone else

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude I would not push your wife into an open relationship if she has clearly told you she's not comfortable with it, especially involving a specific other guy from her past. Pressuring or manipulating her into anything sexual she doesn't fully consent to is not okay. Her getting turned on during dirty talk doesn't necessarily mean she actually wants to act on it. My advice would be to drop the subject for now, focus on nurturing emotional and physical intimacy just between the two of you, and see if over time she might become more open to the idea - but don't count on it or make it a condition of your relationship. Forcing the issue will likely only damage trust. Respect her boundaries here.

[Iron_Man]

Do you want to have a wife that will wreck your marriage and there’s a price to pay on judgment day for these horrible activities

[Asker]

What will happen to me on judgement day? Should I be afraid?

[Iron_Man]

I have no idea thou shall not commit adultery that’s up to God. Perhaps you won’t get the highest rewards that others get if you live the life of this lifestyle

[Tim2nice]

Worry not! There’ll be no such thing as judgement day. That’s a made up myth from religious folk to scare people into submission. As to you wanting to open up your marriage, there’s nothing wrong with that but talk to your wife better and don’t push her to have sex with this asshole ex. Kindly suggest that you give her permission to have sex with other men if she wishes to and state wether you want to watch or not. Tell her you will always love her and give her the space she may need to make a decision. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Well you can always join the mormon chruch go livein Utah and become a polygamist.

[Anonymous]

What a toxic marriage you must have. You should do your wife a favour and just end this marriage now.

[Anonymous]

make her an ex wife.

[In_Trance]

Good luck with that

[Asker]

Hey thanks!