My partner and I have been together for a few years. We have always had a solid relationship. We hardly fight, and generally have good communication around needs and whatnot. But lately, I have had a friendship develop into more.
This new guy I met through a mutual hobby. We started as friends and it has been fine. We talk almost every day in a friends sort of way. I have quite a flirty sense of humor so sometimes there are jokes of that nature. We live far from each other so it has never been an idea to physically hang out or anything like that. Recently, I started to realize that maybe I had some feelings for him. A mutual friend of ours pointed out that they thought he had feelings for me too. It came to light that yes, he did indeed like me. Now, it seems the light-hearted jokes have a bit more of a serious undertone to them.
I feel guilty about this. I love my partner. He is kind, and caring and has always supported me. But, I feel like I am going through a phase of not feeling very desirable. I know deep down he does want me and he has never made me feel explicitly undesirable. But, I have brought up multiple times that I miss how he used to flirt with me, even just little things to show that he wants me in that way. Not only that but, I have talked about how I would like to be intimate more but again, that changes for a little but falls back into what we used to do. I know relationships settle down the longer you are together as the honeymoon phase wears off. But, I can't help but feel this is the one area not being met the way I would like it to be. When I have brought it up he is very receptive and says he will try but, things tend to fall back into old routines. Which is why I think I have developed this crush.
How do I approach this topic with my partner? Tell him about the feelings and why I think they have developed. Or not tell him, and just try to suppress my feelings? But then how do I make him see that I want him to want me more explicitly?
