We have a very tumultuous history with an infp guy. He once worked with me for 6 months and during that time I fell for him. We had long long conversations almost everyday. Only to find out he had a partner during that time.
His partner and him began to fell out because that partner was into illegal things. It was also the time I was so shocked because everything was confirmed that he had a partner which he did not even tell me frankly. The infp guy only told our common friend which also made me question why he did not tell me. I even admitted that i see my future with him but he rejected me and said he needs to prioritize his family first.
I still remembered the infp guy did not seem to like me going to his city because i told him im going to stay for sometime in his city.
Around 11 months later which is the present moment. He seems to be separated with his ex. He told me he was depressed and im the only one he can talk to about it.
When we met, I told him im planning to stay in his city because im trying to overcome my grief over a personal problem in my city. His face really lit up and it was a mixture of shyness and happiness when i told him im planning to stay in his city. Which made me think what brought the change.
We were also a bit awkward when we saw each other although after the initial awkwardness, we were able to talk for 5 hours non stop lol.
So i have two questions. First, why he did not tell me he has a partner when he was able to tell it to our common friend. Second, he rejected me already but why was he really happy when i told him im likely transferring? Last, is there a chance still with this infp or shall i abandon ship and find a new one?
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Whoa, this is a messy situation. Here's what I think:
- Not telling you about his partner was super sketchy. Like he was hiding it or didn't feel like being honest. Major red flag.
- When he rejected you before, he made it clear he had to focus on his family/ex. So you probably shouldn't take that happiness as meaning something more now.
- INFPs can be wishy-washy though too. Maybe he still likes the attention from you but isn't fully over his ex yet. Or just likes having you as an option.
- I'd be really careful moving to be closer to him. Seems like a recipe for getting hurt if he's not fully available. Lots of potential for mixed signals/confusing you both.
- If he's depressed over his ex, he may not be in the right headspace for a new relationship either. Could be using you to fill a void temporarily.
Honestly man, this just sounds full of red flags and risk of drama. I'd suggest looking elsewhere - you deserve to be with someone sure about you and honest from the start. This guy has shown he's flaky. Protect your heart and move on before you invest more feelings into this messy situation!
seems too tumultuous to tell
Maybe