One of my guy friends like me but I’m in a relationship. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

We are a group of 4, 2 guys and 2 girls. My boyfriend never liked my friend group so he is not in it. I’ve asked him multiple times to join. Now this one guy started liking me 5 months ago. One of my girl best friends are in this this group and her boyfriend. This guy would always do these nice things for me but I told him to stop it 2 times already. I want to leave this group also because my best friends boyfriend is trying to get me and this guy together. They just don’t respect my relationship. How should I leave this group without meaning mean? Bc they were always there for me when I needed them so I don’t want to be mean!

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a tough situation. On one hand, you gotta respect your relationship, but leaving friends ain't easy either.

A few things I'd maybe try:

- Be honest with them first. Tell your friends this other guy's moves are making you uncomfortable since you're taken. See if they'll back off first.

- Spend less group time with them for now. Say you need more one-on-one time with your girl. Hopefully that'll cool things off without drama.

- Invite your girl around them more too. Show you guys are solid. That could deter this dude and your other friend.

- Do fun couple activities with just your girlfriend for a while. Let yourself miss your friends naturally instead of an abrupt cut-off.

- If nothing else works, you may need to distance yourself politely. Say you want to focus on your lady and things have been feeling off lately with them.

Bro code is bro code - don't do that to a friend's relationship. Hopefully they'll understand where you're coming from. Stay true to your girl, but don't gotta drop them fully either if you care about em. You got this!

[OlderAndWiser]

Whenever they want to talk about getting you and the friend together, tell them you don't want to have that discussion unless you include your current boyfriend. If that doesn't make them stop, tell them that when they persist in these discussions despite your requests to stop, it feel like they are disrespecting you.

[kylee2437]

You are the only one that has control over not being friends with people. Simply say “hey just seems like you guys don’t really respect my relationship, so I’m going to have to move on” or if you don’t want to say anything, just slowly fade yourself out.

[Bethany22]

Just continue to initiate get-togethers with the girls from the group on an individual basis, and leave the guys out of it.

[NoNameGuy123]

Most men that are friends with girls would date them.

Now, I'm not going to claim platonic relationships are impossible. But statistically speaking if you have more than 1 guy friend, at least one of them probably likes you.

Whether you know about it or not.

[Asker]

That’s what I’ve come to realize.

[NavyOU37]

I think what you just said is exactly why all of us are single for so long. Granted I do not know the specifics of your situation but what you said is a huge reason I will never date again. Women have so many options these days she could drop me because she had a cute guy like an Instagram post.

[Asker]

Yes see that’s so messed up. This guy has been doing this for so long no matter how many times i tell him to stop. I told my boyfriend this shows how much I love him, even if a guy shows me “ attention” it would not change a thing. I’m really sorry this happened to you, you need a girl that will stick with you NO matter what. That girl didn’t deserve you.

[NavyOU37]

I have truly found peace being single. That Instagram situation wasn't me. It was just something that came to mind.

[Asker]

Totally understandable, and this is exactly why I want to end this friendship with this whole group. I don’t want my boyfriend to be in the situation that you are in.

[NavyOU37]

My situation is much darker then just an Instagram post. To make a long story short, I married a Covert Narcissist that love bombed the crap out of me. Married her only to find out 10 months later she had lied to me about everything. I mean that. So much so I was able to get my marriage annulled based on fraud. When you go through something like that, it is extremely difficult to form relationships with anyone new. Friends but especially a romance. If I could give you one peice of advice, if you have a truly good man, hold on to him! Do not listen to this society that preaches "you can always find someone better". I am telling you, those people are miserable in their own lives. They will go from man to man and never be happy. If he is a keeper, don't look back.

[Jbear27]

Stop being nice. I was a people pleaser too at one point and the fear of being seen as ungrateful made me an easy target to being taken advantage of and pushed in directions I didn’t want to go. Just put your foot down and if they are as good of friends as you think they are then they will respect if, if they take offense then you don’t need them. Focus on what’s important to you.

[Asker]

Yes I think that’s my problem. I’m 100% a people pleaser. Thank you I will do.

[Holsen]

Well my advice would be to weigh the current relationship but also being wary lf your friend like sometimes having a third party interested in this case your friend may seem exciting and tempting but the hype can fade just as fast so a reevaluate your current relationship!!

[molonski2]

What is this group a tiny Cult?

You have two choices , just see the girls in the group , or fck this egghead crazy on the side. You want to be with your boyfriend or not? , Im agreeing with him , it sounds utterly ludicrous that you need to ask.

I certainly would NOT recommend he join , its not a golf club.

[Miristheiss]

Show good, committed, respectful, loyal boundaries by quit hanging out with and talking so much to other men while you are in a relationship.

Look, you keep talking with this other guy and now you are being disloyal to your mate. If you were a loyal girlfriend you'd just cut contact with this guy.

[Joshydavid25]

Well I don't think cutting off ties with what I presume are good friends is the way to go.. But you might have to cut ties with the guy... He obviously has a big crush on you, and since he already knows you have a SO, he obviously is encouraged to keep pursuing you.. So you'll need to talk to them about that.

[Asker]

Yes that’s very true. I’ve talked to him 2 times already and then he seems to get it but then a week goes by and he starts doing it again. So I think cutting ties are necessary

[Joshydavid25]

Most definitely.. Sucks that he's in the same friend group.. Unfortunately the situation might get complicated within that.. So, either you let them know, it'll never happen, or maybe you'll have to let them go for a while until things settled down..

[Gopackers02]

I’d say tell the girls you’re cool with that you don’t feel comfortable or like hanging with the guys if they keep trying to date you and/or get you with a different guy. I’d say this so you know if they respect you and your relationship enough. But if not leave it all together. Be loyal to your man and if the guy keeps doing that to be your new man then tell your current partner and they’ll handle it in whatever way they do. Whatever you do don’t cheat or be disloyal

[Altheavas]

You’re gonna find a lot of people/men liking you in life. Are you gonna always leave your current partner for each and every one of them every time?

[nawtee_me]

This is just one way to look at it but, if you have a boyfriend and he is not being sociable with the others they may see him as not a part of and think the other guy is better suited for you. And them…

[DextroShade]

Listen very closely: men are not your friends!

The reason we talk to you and hang out with you is because we want to fuck you. You are disrespecting your man by keeping this other guy in your life in any capacity.

[Asker]

Well I did not know that, it’s different for girls so thank you for telling me.

[Asker]

So wait, my boyfriend has girl friends what does that mean?

[Sasha0426]

@DextroShade That’s not true for me. Men find me repulsive.

[DextroShade]

@Sasha0426 if they are dealing with you socially they would smash. If you don't believe me try coming onto one of them.

[Sasha0426]

I can assure you they would not react that way.

[Sasha0426]

In fact, they would be grossed out and push me away.

[boggboss]

Sit down and tell them u won't put up with this that if they can't respect u and you boundaries u won't be able to chill with them or tell your bestfrind this

[12karen]

I think that you should discuss with the problem (the person) and the group so together you'll find a way to be close to each other Without being in the group

[lizziemcquire]

You should fuck him girl. My boyfriend thinks having male friends are ok so that gives me an advantage to fuck my cute male friends. I say go for it girl ! Your man is probably already cheating anyways

[echoflowerrr]

Definitely not a good idea. If her and her boyfriend are in an open relationship then okay, maybe it's fine for them, but if not then it's just a shitty idea to cheat on him. And saying he's probably cheating on her doesn't make things better, that could just make her think it's true when it might not be.

[lizziemcquire]

It’s good advice she will thank me later

[echoflowerrr]

It's really not.

[Sasha0426]

Screw their feelings! If they can’t respect you and your relationship, then they’re not your true friends.

[jahaims]

Either stop being friends with him or break up with your boyfriend.

[In_Trance]

I'm sure your boyfriend will know exactly what to do why don't you ask him?

[ReverseCowboy]

Tell him that you already have a partner and hope he respect that

[balyai]

Tell your boyfriend about it and remove all those people out of your life

[TdotRep2023]

Give him a chance. See where it leads u and u might be surprised that he might be a lot better than ur current one. Don't miss the boat.