Search Results: telling him i love him

So my dad saw me at his home 6 months back and hit my boyfriend coz he thought we both had sex and my dad said him to have sex with me after marrying me. Now after this, my boyfriend stopped having sex with me since 6 months, but we met outside. He cheated on me on weekends but never broke up with me - I saw his phone where he downloaded bumble and also when I asked him to show me his phone, he hid from me. He never used to hide anything like his phone or laptop from me before. But he always told me that he loves me, never cheated on me and waited for me at the station for 30 minutes just to meet me post work and he kept telling me that I should trust him blindly and not ask him to check his phone coz it hurts his integrity. I got one number while checking his phone and I asked her on WhatsApp. That girl showed me call logs of long conversation with him ( this time when I was sure of him ignoring me) she said that he was looking for casual sex for which she denied and blocked him. I confronted my boyfriend and asked him and he said me that he can't have sex with me so he asked her ( coz my dad hit him). I never denied him to have sex with me but he always denied me when I asked him for sex, saying he respects my dad and won't have sex with me before marriage. Since I was sexually deprived and frustrated, I cheated on him after the day he hid his phone from me. And I slept with 3 different guys. And I also told him that I love him and am monogamous. Right now he is in his hometown to fight for me for marriage and he always said me that I'm his long term girl. Since I also slept with guys hookups, I don't feel sad or guilty anymore. He said me we will court marry if his parents disagree our intercaste marraige. I may times told him to block me and he kept telling me that he finds me in other girls, he tried to but is unable to. I am also unable to go away from him but to satisfy my vagina, am sleeping with other guys coz my boyfriend will fuck me after we marry.

Recently I caught my boyfriend calling and texting a woman of his caste and I'm not of his caste. He told me he was frustrated with me that's why he went behind my back despite us patching up post 24 hrs breakup always. Now I asked the girl if they slept and she said that she met him on bumble and she said that he was asking for casual sex and nothing serious to which she said no. He said me that he was sorry to get distracted and that it naturally happened. He bdw blocks me badly whenever we fight instead of resolving. I love him but he was never romantic and never did anything special for me. Many times I felt he took me for granted but since we are together since 2 years in this relationship I have lots of feelings for him and he apologised to me that he is devoted to me and will never get distracted. Whenever I miss him and I cry to him, he never cries or gets emotional to have missed me if we haven't met him for many days. But he said me that whenever he was distracted after he broke up with me for like 24 hours, he said me that he tried to find me in another woman always and then he missed me and always came back to me. I have never ever broken up with him ever. ( We always patched up after 24 hrs by resolving post him breaking up with me many times) I don't really know if he is completely loyal to me because of this. I trust his words that he is loyal to me but him telling me that I should love him more when he gets distracted make me wonder if he really loves me or not.