Search Results: better when just friends

He keeps a certain amount of distance between me and him… he follows back all his other students on instagram but never followed me back (and I unfollowed him).

He flirts with me, gets mad when I like someone else, and expects me to only take guitar advice off him and his mate… he got a bit mad when I post on Facebook asking about guitar/musician related stuff and then he always texts to say stop looking on Facebook, other people don’t know what they’re talking about (true, but there’s some good advice on there too). Also during guitar lessons if I mentioned I had a lesson with someone else or took advice from someone else he’d say “you’ll only confuse yourself if you listen to other people’s advice, they don’t know the angle that we’re coming from” but then he will say something that completely contradicts “there’s no secret to learning guitar, it’s all just hard work and focus” but then he makes it out to be some wishy-washy thing like there’s an inner circle of musicians who know the secrets to playing… I feel like I’m going crazy. Then another guitarist explains something to me in such a simple way (his friend) and I understand it better. Is he trying to confuse me and undermine my confidence so I get more lessons with him?
Really strange because all his other students say how great he is and how he’s really helped them… I just get more confusion. I also said how I want to learn jazz standards etc. and he said that what I’m trying to learn is too complexed at the moment… but I can play it fine with a bit of practise? I dunno just feels like he’s scamming me and giving better teaching to other people… why would this be?

It might involve sexual things or it might not and I’d be clear about my intentions from the beginning. Not that long ago he said something that implied he’d date me if he could. That combined with a long flirtatious and semi-romantic history between us and the way I’ve seen him look at me and act with me makes me believe there’s a good chance he’d be with me.

REASONS I FEEL IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA:

• My mom and I saw a movie in which a woman decided to be with a guy despite knowing he’s going to die. My mom said it’s not about how long the connection lasts, it’s about how deep it is. That made me feel like maybe it’s worth experiencing a relationship with my friend even though my ultimate goal is to find someone else.

• A part of me feels like life is short, and I should live in the moment as long it’s not something unsafe.

• I’m afraid that if I don’t take my chance while I have it, I’ll never know for the rest of my life how it feels to truly be with him romantically.

• I want him so badly it sometimes drives me crazy.

• A part of me feels like the reasons for not being with him don’t really matter when I want him so badly.

REASONS I FEEL IT MIGHT BE A BAD IDEA:

• I’ve never had a first kiss or date before and a part of me wants to save those things for a guy I feel more romantic about.

• I’m afraid I won’t be able to not compare the way my future fiancé touches me with the way my friend would touch me.

• A part of me hopes to lose my virginity to someone I’m more deeply in love with.

• Since I’m uncertain about the situation, a part of me feels like a ‘better safe than sorry’ approach is best.