Search Results: before seeing a girl

I have two friends: both are 40, have chosen the single life for years. One is a guy, he was friends with a girl in her early 30’s for a year and dated her casually for a year before he finally decided she was the one and asked her to be his girlfriend. After one year of seriously dating, he proposed marriage at Christmas. They married two months later. He’s a guy, we’ll call him Ryan. Him taking his time is fine.

The other friend is a woman (we’ll call her Tara), she’s been “seeing” a guy (also 40) for at least 9 months. They haven’t labeled it yet, every time I ask her when she’s labeling the relationship she always says “we’re taking our time with it, keeping it casual and just being friends first”. I love Tara, but she’s out of her freakin mind. I demanded my boyfriend to define the relationship after 5 months. Tara does want this guy, but she just lives in her own little shell and won’t demand what she wants. She just sits back lets things happen and says she wants him to define it in his own time (I told her drop his ass if he doesn’t define it at the end of this month).

It’s fine that Ryan took his time. He’s a guy and it’s more socially accepted for him to put off relationships and marriage. For women I don’t understand it though. I feel like when we go that route, we get used, we get our time wasted and we get hurt. I think Tara is making a huge mistake, but my boyfriend says she’s not. What if she defines the relationship and then decides she doesn’t like him after all (that’s his logic). Maybe because I’m also dying to matchmake her and there’s a friend of my bf’s who I want her to meet (because he’s dying to date her and I think they’re perfect for each other).

We got back together after a year apart. We slept together the first night then the second night I tried for sex and he said no.

He’d been seeing someone he wasn’t in a relationship with and told her it never would be before we got back together. I don’t know how soon before he slept with her anywhere from a day before to two weeks before.

When we got back together he instantly said he loved me and wanted me and him back together for good.
But then he rejected me the following day. We did speak before we slept together saying that we aren’t bothered about sex id rather sleep etc. then the following day when I tried he said im not in the mood we said this the other day that’s how we are.

But a couple of weeks/month into us and he said he wants it twice a day. He’s always been like this and has a really high sex drive. He was more or less like that with me before we broke up and got back together. We did have sex often and multiple times a night.

So why did he turn me down that night? Was it to do with the other girl? It wasn’t as good? Or do guys not work like that?
But then why would he after a few weeks/month want it twice a day and complain to his friends I don’t give him sex enough. It changed and I’ve started rejecting him

Was he trying to control me turning me down the second night since before we had sex loads? Making sure I knew my place?

Or was it about the other girl? I don’t know how often they seen each other. I just know the set up was only seeing each other. He made it clear there was no relationship but she was saying she was in love and he was saying it wasn’t like that on his side. Maybe he went every night to hers? I have no idea but I know they could have seen each other as little as the day before me and him to 2 weeks before