Why did my Ex randomly unfollow me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago stating he needed time for himself, it’s him not me, etc. He does struggle a lot with insecurities and mental health, so I can see where it might be good for him to take time for himself.

I decided to respect his time to himself and not engage with him or reach out at all. Since the he’s been reposting tons of relationship posts targeted to me on TikTok (some of how he’s sad and was so in love and others about he’s so happy to be single and didn’t even like me…all over the place and every single day), he also made his own posts that included screen shots of several different girls his talking on the phone with …some showed him talking to more than one girl in the same call. These aren’t girlfriends because he’s posting about being single and not having a girlfriend…pretty sure they’re random girls he’s found on Snapchat because that’s where the screenshots are from and the names aren’t familiar names in our small town. As rude as I think it is for him to do this, I have not reached out to him or questioned any of these posts or reposts.

A couple days ago, I saw that he unfollowed me on TikTok. I don’t post very often on TikTok so he wasn’t seeing anything in his notifications from me to be bothered by, so seemed odd he would randomly decide to do that.

Also interesting because he JUST added me on another app the day before he unfollowed me on TikTok.

Anyway, our relationship was fine overall, we never argued or fought…in fact, it was going the best it had been just before the breakup. Then it just ended and now this.

So curious what you all think as to why after this time he decided to unfollow me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that's a really complicated and confusing situation with your ex, girl. Honestly, it sounds like he's all over the place emotionally and not really handling the breakup in a healthy way.

The constant relationship posts and screenshots of him talking to other girls on Snapchat - that just seems really immature and unnecessary, you know? Like he's trying to make you jealous or prove something, instead of just focusing on himself like he said he needed to do.

And then randomly unfollowing you on TikTok after just adding you on another app? That's just straight-up weird behavior.

I can't say for sure what his motivation is, but my guess is that he's still feeling really insecure and conflicted about the breakup. Maybe he's trying to convince himself (and you) that he's doing just fine without you. Or maybe he's just lashing out in petty ways because he's hurt and doesn't know how to handle it.

Either way, it doesn't seem like a very healthy or constructive response. If I were you, I wouldn't read too much into it or try to analyze it too deeply. The dude is clearly struggling, and his actions are coming from a place of insecurity, not logic.

My advice would be to just keep doing you, girl. Don't engage with his drama or get sucked into his rollercoaster of emotions. You're handling this breakup with a lot of maturity and grace by giving him the space he said he needed. Keep that up, and don't let his weird behavior get to you.

In the end, his actions probably say a lot more about him than they do about you. So try not to take it personally. Focus on healing and moving forward. When he's ready to have a real conversation, he'll come to you. But until then, just keep living your best life.

You've got this, girl. Don't let your ex's insecurities and immaturity drag you down. You deserve so much better than that. Hang in there!

[SteveSmith1985]

Tell me more about the breakup please. So things are going well, then (out of nowhere?) he says he's got stuff to deal with.

But how were things left. It was a straight breakup? Everybody can see other people? Ot something more... complicated?

Then, once he's broken up wit you. He starts purposefully showing you things with the hope of making you jelous. AND is talking about how sad he is without you. You do not engage at all.

Then you find he unfollowed you on TikToc BUT added you on a different app the day before.

Correct? (plus please answer the breakup part).

[Asker]

It was a straight break up. I’m not contacting him at all and he’s not contacting me, he’s just making these targeted posts.

[SteveSmith1985]

So I don't use either of these apps. But... would an advantage of unfollowing you on TikTok be that no new girl would see you on his feed or whaeverthfuck? Could it be because he has started seeing someone and doesn't want her to think there's still something going on with you?

The app he added you on. Is it less popular, or set up in a way that it might be safer, if he was trying to keep someone from seeing you right there as a follow, while still having a way to get ahold of you (or post things you'll see or whatever)

Was he still making those provoking posts right up until he unfollowed you? Any on the new app? Has he gone dark. If so, when?

It could just be him realizing you aren't responding to project jealousy. And just deleting you because he has accepted that you two are really over. Or would it be weird to unfollow an ex. (not because you would bother him with posts. But because you aren't trying to maintain a friendship, and you've broken up.)

[Asker]

I’m still following him on TikTok which could be seen by others… he could remove me as a follower on there, so I would be completely off his lists, but hasn’t done that yet. He’s still posting stuff to this day, so I can see it all since I still follow him. We also currently still follow each other on a couple other social media platforms.

The app he just added me on is less popular, but you could see who is following others.

[SteveSmith1985]

Would it be more rude to both unfollow you AND remove you? Sounds like it's more a matter of him wanting you to be able to see this stupid shit he's posting.

Let me ask you this then. You're talking to a 40 year old guy here. What practical significance is there to his unfollowing you? What did that change?

Or was it just something you would be aware of (if so, could it just be part of Project Jealousy?)

I have a question for you. Are you hoping to rekindle things at some future point?

Do you go to school together have a mutual (extended) friend circles and all that?

[Asker]

Him unfollowing me just means he can’t see anything I post unless he follows me back again.

I don’t know that I would date him again at least not anytime soon, but we go to the same high school and have classes together and we’re involved in some of the same activities. I feel like the way he’s acting makes that more complicated when it doesn’t need to be.

I’ve never seen any other guy (or girl) post so much content like this after a breakup, especially when it wasn’t a really ugly breakup. I do wonder if he’s trying to make me jealous or get me to react.

[SteveSmith1985]

He is for sure trying to make you jelous and get you to react. That's all part of the same silly bullshit. FOR SURE.

I don't have a chance to see how guys this young behave these days. But he seems like an idiot to me. If you're saying his posting is excessive, then I'm not crazy for thinking this guys a weirdo.

He isn't acting like a typical guy. He's acting like a dumbass. :You're right that he is making things way more complicated than it needs to be. (no offence) but he is acting like some women act some of the time. It's petty attention seeking bullshit.

So he is not thnking this is over forever. (don't ask me why he broke up with you in the first place then. It doesn't make sense. But that's what happened).

So he is there putting a lot of effort into making you react. For weeks you said. So all this is an effort to 'get your attention'... Why? I don't think it's because he hates you or wants to make you jelous simply to cause you pain. He's not angry, it wasn't a bad breakup.

It doesn't make sense overall but: for (whatever reason) he broke up with you. Since then he's been on a campaign to get your attention (jelousy based and the unfollow). He is still engaged in this campaign of putting himself in your face.

If you aren't looking to get back together, then he's got nothing. He's worried he has nothing already since you haven't reacted. If you truly don't want to get back together, then you can not worry about his bullshit. You can easily turn the tables on him right?

Why not unfollow him? Do you really want to see what he's posting? It will drive him nuts if you just seem to not care. If you say nothing, then unfollow him...

[SteveSmith1985]

You're telling him you're done, and his whole campaign got him nowhere. So... thats problem solved isn't it?

(don't get back with this guy. This guy showed he sucks. You can do better)

[Anonymous]

He sounds severely unstable and hope those other women report and block him cuz he sounds like the type to post that crap without their permission. if he bothers or harasses you on there report him to the app.

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for mho

[In_Trance]

Stop paying attention to your ex