Search Results: settling

For me it’s obvious; I’ve got one life. I would never settle. It really is both components. I know if I’m physically attracted to a girl at first glance, no personality overcomes a lack of physical attraction at all. Just as no amount of beauty overcomes crappy personality. Both are just as necessary. (Mind you everyone finds different types attractive so I don’t believe in leagues).

With a significant other there’s no in between for me, it’s enthusiastic yes or no thank you. I’m polite with giving and receiving rejection but I am resolute here. I just don’t understand people who don’t soneone because they don’t want to be alone. I’m scared of being alone sure-but settling scares me much more and I’m sure most healthy people would feel similar. Otherwise you’re dating just to have someone rather actually having a desire for a person.

People are only faithful to their partner, because they don't have a choice otherwise or feel compelled to by their upbringing. The options are typically "get one person and sleep with them" or "stay single and sexually frustrated". Some people can sleep with whoever they want without needing commitment, but most cannot. Monogamy is a sort of a "necessary evil", not an intrinsically "desirable outcome".

“But it’s good for children”, you might retort, “having parents’ partners go in and out of their lives is bad for their development” and that is the only time, where monogamy becomes relevant. Imagine, if you will, that the population is rendered immortal and/or never ages. Reproduction is now immaterial, because you have an indefinite lifespan. Changes the equation quite a bit, doesn’t it? If there’s no need for children, but the urge to f*ck is still there, why not pursue it completely and relentlessly? Enjoy pure pleasure, as much as possible, without restraint or complication—granted, we’d have to eliminate all STIs, but I digress.

All of which is to say, if every person alive could enjoy an entire population of their choosing, having sex with as many different people as often as they desired, vs settling down with just the one, why would anyone choose the latter over the former? Nobody would limit themselves, if they didn't have to. Monogamy is forced upon people.

Do you agree with this idea? Why or why not?

In china a lot of people call women 30+ ‘left over women’ ‘the orange that didn’t get sold’ ‘the sugarcane that didn’t get sold’

Whereas men single and 30 get called ‘quality real estate’

Makes sense, after all they will be the biggest superpower. You have to shame people, if there’s no accountability nor values what’s the point. People need to be settling down earlier so they can have kids.

Women and people generally are too selfish these days, I’m struggling to find a really good woman that’s ready to settle down. I find i match with tons but it leads to ghosting etc.

Lost hair to a telogen alopecia at 18. Shave what’s left. Still have eyebrows and most body hair. I’m a decent looking guy, even told I’m handsome by many. But I’m 28 now and I’ve just had no luck dating. Never even been kissed or on a date. I’m very social, involved in many groups and activities, went through 4 years of college and always had big social circles. So so many times women have shared how they can’t believe I’m single etc but yet, sometimes even those same women, turn me down. There’s been a small few who were into me but honestly I just wasn’t attracted to them. That physical attraction has to be there as well as the emotional one. I got one life and I am not settling on what I want just due to a genetic condition. But I don’t blame the women who aren’t interested either, looks do matter, just sad to think hair really is such a big determining factor for men’s looks and there’s nothing I can do but wear a wig (which I actually started doing-a full custom one, it’s 2024 and makes me happy).

But yeah, I’ve probably asked out 40 odd women in the decade I’ve shaved my head, all no’s. About 12 made it clear it was the baldness. (I always journal so I have reread this many times and remember the numbers, probably not healthy) and I’m sure others were the same. Just sad, really wanted to be married to a young woman I found beautiful and who I loved dearly. Didn’t care about much else. Not interested in waiting until I’m older, nor in dating women older than me. I’m 27.

Honestly friends I think I may clock out here soon. Love each other out there and please be kind. We all need to learn to take rejection yes but please be kind giving it. This world is mean enough.