Are dating apps reflective of real world possibilities romantically?

[Anonymous]

I’ve used dating apps for around 2 months, and basically all I’ve gotten is either obese women, women with children, or just downright hideous women, also a lot of women with children, all the normal average women seem to brush right past me. I’m not ugly, I’m not fat, I have a good job, I’m pretty average. Which is why I never try to match with very pretty women, I just stick to women that are normal. Now I guess normal average women are not looking for normal average men, they’re chasing the hot ones, or men out of their league, and probably having success (if you can call a decent looking guy settling for you for a night) in this indicative of women in the real world? Are average women not interested in average men, cause it seems like the only average women interested in me have been blown out and have children/baggage.

[MzAsh]

The reality of dating apps is that they do prioritize visuals heavily, which can skew perceptions and expectations. You’re essentially marketing yourself, and your “brand” needs to stand out. For an average looking guy, you got to play up what makes you special beyond just looks, whether it’s humor, hobbies, life experiences, or your outlook on life.

Your attitude might be sabotaging your chances before anything even starts. No one wants to feel like they’re being settled for, or just another checkmark on someone’s list. You’re conveying resentment or negativity here, and if any of that slips into your interactions, it’s going to turn people off, regardless of your looks.

It might be worth doing some introspection about how your view others and yourself. Then, it’s time to overhaul that profile. Highlight the qualities that make you a great catch that aren’t just about looks. Show passion for your interests, be genuine in how you describe yourself and what you’re looking for, and make sure your humanity comes through. That’s how you connect genuinely.

It’s naturally competitive for men, and some women might be busy entertaining other prospects, but some might just be busy in life. Regardless, too much of your energy here is focused on what others are doing when you need to be more concerned with your own hand of cards.

[Vegasrunner]

@MzAsh Terrible advice. Men should be using dating apps simply as a way to increase interaction with women. If a female has to resort to a dating app she is probably hideous, or has something lacking. Guys should use this to their advantage and practice on these women, so that they can increase their numbers.

[MzAsh]

I hold a critical eye on apps in general, especially sincere scammers and cat-fishers have increased 1000% in the last few years. If I were single, I wouldn’t bother as I’d only entertain true gentlemen that aren’t too lazy to approach and get to know me in person. But, there are attractive people who’ve met in apps and managed to find the real deal and last it out.

[Vegasrunner]

@MzAsh That kind of proves my point. Instead of concerning themselves w/ what one woman will do dating apps allow men to increase volume and practice on a numbers of women.

[MzAsh]

If one’s willing to lower quality in favor of quantity, sure, but that doesn’t help the OPs issue which seems to be an issue to quality.

[Vegasrunner]

@MzAsh I see your confusion. His issue is that he can't get any women. If he was able to bang a handful of chicks off dating apps he wouldn't be asking these questions

[MzAsh]

You might wanna go back and read whats printed in plain English. He says he gets women, just the ones he deems undesirable. He’s looking to improve quality, not quantity.

[Vegasrunner]

@MzAsh He never says he gets women he says he matches with fat and leftover women. If he was banging some of the leftover women he wouldn't be asking this question. He's not banging anyone which is why he's frustrated w/ dating apps.

[MzAsh]

You’re reaching and you know it. He explicitly communicates it’s about the quality of the women he has as options, not the quantity.

[Vegasrunner]

@MzAsh Please share any part where he days he is banging women.

[MzAsh]

Banging women isn’t the core of what this is about. Enough.

[Anonymous]

No. Dating apps typically attract only 2 types of women. 1. The women who are socially awkward and are emotionally unavailable. This allows these women to talk to men without ever risking anything. They can hide who they are through dark lit and altered pics. And 2. The women who are just looking for attention and window shopping. Because that's what online dating is to these women, window shopping. These women typically are looking for that unicorn that checks her 300 boxes. And unless she finds him she's just going to soak up the adulation from the 99.9% of guys that she deems "just not right" for her.😆

The best advice I can give a guy dating is 1. DO NOT message ANY woman first. 2. Make sure your Pic game is on point. You don't have to be the best looking mo fugga. But you do have to appear interesting in your pics (so NO SELFIES!!) B*tches can get away with that, men cannot. 3. Leave your bio blank! Trust me on that. The more you say the more likely you're going to say something that'll turn her off. Women do not make very good choices. So understand women are NOT going to choose a guy that is good for her. She's going choose the guy that the goblins in her head tell her to choose. So don't go f***ing up your chances by trying to be what she needs. Be what she wants. And she knows what that is better than you. And if you say little to nothing, she'll write the story in her headfor you. Trust me on this.

[AaronKrieger]

No, so do not take them seriously as they are meant to be superficial.

It is most likely that you had a boring profile more than anything whether it be the things you said or the photos you chose to display your life. Just rely on real life, since you'll get significantly better results.

[Nikki1989]

Of course not. Why people even bother with apps when the entire world is one big dating site just shows how low-quality people on those apps really are. True quality people never have to resort so low to have to use an app.

[Asker]

Ok, not everyone has endless time to go out and interact and meet people, ever think of that?

[Avicenna]

Your experience is pretty typical

[Avicenna]

Someone your age in particular will do better off of dating apps

[slatyb]

I was older and was successful dating on Match some years ago. Have you tried finding social groups with a good number of women? Dance groups are great for this, but if you go, don't hit on any of the women for a few months. What do you like to do that women also enjoy?

[red324]

Most women I went on dates with online had unrealistic expectations. Rarely did I ever get more than one date out of them. at least, that's what my experience was. They all claimed to want serious relationships, but sure didn't put in much effort considering that's what they wanted.

[incorrected]

The dynamic is somewhat skewed toward the shallow end of things, though it is quite reflective of real world possibilities. If women on dating sites pick top 20% for the most part, in real life, call it 30% and it's probably close to the mark.

[PeachyPie93]

Dating apps are only filled with the left over trash from your city its much easier to find normal decent people just outside somewhere and most of the best people don't even use dating apps.

[AnonAndrew]

No, they're very different from real life. Most people have never even tried a dating app, they just date in real life.

[Crazzyyworld]

There are websites for sugar daddies, sugar babies, escorts, perverts, dating, hook ups, millionaire dating, acting, modeling, singing. If you were a woman, which website would you use? Women are not stupid. They know their asset to sell.

[Vegasrunner]

Ash That's my point. Because he isn't having success w/ women, he's soured on the apps. If he simply was having sex with some of them, he would have a more positive outlook

[Anonymous]

sounds like you're the picky one

[strateguy632]

They aren't