Search Results: need time

Simple question right? I will concede that falling in love with someone isn't 100% a choice, its a combination of attraction, and chemical responses. But continuing to love someone i believe is a choice.

Let me explain why i believe that.

Love needs to be nurtured. To maintain the relationship, you can't just expect the "Spark" to be there. Both sides need to make effort. Both sides need to do the things that maintain connection.

For example, Every morning when i wake up, i wake a half our prior to actually needing to get up so i can get extra cuddle time with my wife. When i come home from lunch i hug her, and tell her how much i miss her. When i come home at the end of the day i do the same, and then we cook together.. the important term here is Together. Hell even my furniture choices have centered around making sure that even when we are just watching a show together it means cuddle time. Additionally i took my grandfathers advice seriously, which was "Never stop dating your wife" So i make sure to do things like date nights, and spontaneous gifts, And by gifts, i mean things she's been wanting, to things as simple as chocolate. I tell her she's beautiful every day, and i tell her how much i love her every day. And this isn't one way, My wife does similar stuff for me.

Bottom line, if i chose to stop doing all of that, my wife would first think that there was something wrong, Then she would think that i was angry with her, and finally she would think that i dont love her. It would essentially kill the marriage.

Love, Marriage, And everything in between takes effort, Marriage is hard work, Its remembering to do the little things. Its making sure above all else that you have open lines of communication.

A lot of people fail to comprehend that, and i believe this is the reason for the horrific divorce rate.

See the following poem. it explains it quite well
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1959983/love-needs-nurture/

Its amazing how im 42 and still learning things about myself. So what i mean is lets say i just got off work and want to say do the laundry at home. I need a small maybe 10-15 minute buffer before i go ahead with it. You might also call it simply a pause to simply allow my brain to reset itself and brace for the next activity so i can go at it with 💯 mental energy and clarity.

looks like im not the only one who needs this cause i found this article on it. https://dakharipsyc.com/blog/mental-buffer-time/

Why These Short Pauses Matter

Constant activity with no breaks can lead to mental fatigue, shorter attention spans, and more stress. The mind works best when it has a little space to reset. Even a couple of minutes is enough to:

- Process what you just finished, so nothing lingers in the background
- Calm any tension or anxiety before moving on
- Give your brain a break from always being “on”

If you’ve ever felt on edge or stuck in a cycle of busyness, buffer time acts as a natural speed bump, helping you slow down so you can move forward with greater wellbeing.