True or false, love is a choice?

Question

Simple question right? I will concede that falling in love with someone isn't 100% a choice, its a combination of attraction, and chemical responses. But continuing to love someone i believe is a choice.

Let me explain why i believe that.

Love needs to be nurtured. To maintain the relationship, you can't just expect the "Spark" to be there. Both sides need to make effort. Both sides need to do the things that maintain connection.

For example, Every morning when i wake up, i wake a half our prior to actually needing to get up so i can get extra cuddle time with my wife. When i come home from lunch i hug her, and tell her how much i miss her. When i come home at the end of the day i do the same, and then we cook together.. the important term here is Together. Hell even my furniture choices have centered around making sure that even when we are just watching a show together it means cuddle time. Additionally i took my grandfathers advice seriously, which was "Never stop dating your wife" So i make sure to do things like date nights, and spontaneous gifts, And by gifts, i mean things she's been wanting, to things as simple as chocolate. I tell her she's beautiful every day, and i tell her how much i love her every day. And this isn't one way, My wife does similar stuff for me.

Bottom line, if i chose to stop doing all of that, my wife would first think that there was something wrong, Then she would think that i was angry with her, and finally she would think that i dont love her. It would essentially kill the marriage.

Love, Marriage, And everything in between takes effort, Marriage is hard work, Its remembering to do the little things. Its making sure above all else that you have open lines of communication.

A lot of people fail to comprehend that, and i believe this is the reason for the horrific divorce rate.

See the following poem. it explains it quite well
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1959983/love-needs-nurture/

Select gender and age to cast your vote:

Updates

6 mo

Holy crap that poem gets dark at the end. the main part of it i believe is true is the following

Even a flower
Needs a drop
Of sentiment.
Without care
It shall
Eventually wilt.

The smallest flame
Is nothing
Without a breeze.
Gone is the flicker.
End of a life,
In one foul blow.

Updates

6 mo

If you're going to be disrespectful, or an asshole your comments go bye bye.

pass_the_celery98 · Accepted Answer

For women and girls - love is a "vibe" and once that is over when shit gets real, either she will run away to greener pastures or stay by his side. Loyalty is rare nowadays. Now I understand if he committed a crime, died, went to jail, did something awful involving physical or verbal violence, was badly disfigured (God forbid), she has to do whats best for her. But if he's supportive, working, paying the bills, there for her, keeping silent on his issues while attending to hers that's not love, that's that "happy wife, happy life" BS but if im not happy even if I mask my feelings and I'm making her laugh and attending to her sorrows, that's not a relationship, that's a pathetic friendship of being used.

Shy_Steve · Accepted Answer

Love has never been a choice, because people cannot simply decide who they fall for, when they fall, or when those feelings stop.

If it were a choice, no one would develop feelings for someone who doesn’t want them, no one would remain attached after heartbreak, and no one would suddenly feel drawn to a person they barely know.

The reality that love appears spontaneously, persists even when it causes pain, and fades on its own timeline proves it is not something a person chooses, it is something that happens automatically, involuntarily, and often against their plans or preferences.

Bitter_Sweet94 · Accepted Answer

Love starts as a feeling, but staying in love is a choice.

Attraction happens on its own, you don’t control who catches your attention or makes your heart race.

But the commitment, the effort, the patience, the way you show up for someone on the good days and the rough ones that part is a decision you make over and over.

So for me, it’s both.

The spark isn’t a choice, but keeping the fire alive definitely is.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I don't believe it's a choice to love someone. Not a conscious choice anyway. It just happens after spending time with them.

AviatorTom · Answer

False. A choice is something you have control over. Love happens, or not, it can't be forced nor controlled. The only choice you have is what to do with Love. Do you accept it and nurture it, or do you ignore it?

coachTanthony · Answer

When you are in love with someone and you catch feelings for someone else it's a choice to NOT act on those feelings. So yes it's a choice.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Yes, love requires effort, like the constant attention of a gardener, and that is where the choice is made.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

A relationship takes effort of course. But the question of whether or not love is a choice doesn't really mean anything to me. It is a good question to ask I guess, but at the end of the day, I don't think it matters if it is a choice or not. In my opinion. I'm sure others might feel differently.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

I personally wouldn't say it's a choice. Love is just something you feel. And it's not like you can force yourself to love someone you hate. Love is something you naturally feel and you can't force it. Otherwise it's not true love if you force it.

BCRanger10 · Answer

It is true. There is an emotional component to love, but in the truest sense, love is in fact a choice.

Shehnaz · Answer

True. Feelings might hit like a bus, but love is what you do after the bus has crashed. It's choosing to rebuild, choosing to forgive, choosing to call back at 2 AM when you're both angry. Otherwise, it's just butterflies. And butterflies die.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yep, it's a choice.. I think strong feeling build up to love, but real love is what you do after strong feelings have simmered down.. Love is duty and action.. Therefore making it a choice..

midnightmoon05 · Answer

It was gags fault 😂 now I am married to my gag husband … we are very lucky to find each other and happily married.

SoccerPlayer99 · Answer

Absolutely a choice. When you fight, you have to remind yourself that you love this person and that you should seek forgiveness. You don't always feel that.

Crankor · Answer

Its a choice based on what actions were taken for it to become love. You may not have had the intention but what lead up to it becoming such was based on choice. So yah it is i choice in that regard

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Staying is a choice. Love most definitely isn’t. You can end a relationship because you know they aren't good for you while still loving them.

douride2 · Answer

What you say is so true. Ultimately though in the end love is always a choice.

LiamJHayden · Answer

To me, love is the choice to see the better for another.

u7u7u7u7 · Answer

As a man I don't know what love even mean to be honest

Allmenrsick · Answer

Love is somewhat forced. They make you to marry at certain age

SolitarySolace · Answer

True. And so is cheating. They’re both choices

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

Love is a figment of your imagination

True or false, love is a choice?

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