Search Results: divorce

I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have a 1 year old daughter together. I also have a 9yo son from my previous relationship and my husband has adopted him. His family has always been toxic but it's always been in a "I feed off drama" way and nothing more. However, they really upped it last year. Basically my sister in laws husband hit my 9yo son in the back of the head out of anger (my son was playing tag with his cousin and ran inside and the door slammed behind him). It was a hard hit. Cops were called and the police did nothing because there was no witnesses outside of me and they called it a "he said she said" thing and stated that we needed to work through our own family conflict. They claimed my son wasn't a reliable witness because he wouldn't speak to them (he's incredibly shy, has ASD and was just assaulted by a grown ass man so he was already scared - he just kept hiding behind me saying "mum can you just tell them" and they took this as me making shit up and leading my son to say something that wasn't true).

When my sister in law found out what happened she was initially on our side and scolded her husband. But he threatened to divorce her, so she did a 180° and started claiming her husband did nothing wrong and that he only hit my son because my kid has been repeatedly told not to slam doors and didn't listen so her husband had an "impulse reaction" and claimed "no harm, no foul" because my son was fine. So, I cut all contact and when our daughter was born we refused to let her anywhere near her despite her being extremely excited for the baby and having made all these customized items for her. She was destroyed over it but oh well. Don't defend a child abuser.

Well, here it is a year later and my mother in law brought it up randomly and stated "I understand completely why he hit your son." So I told her to leave and she wasn't welcome back here around my children. Now my husband is upset because he wants his mother around.

In South Africa, fathers have rights to their children that vary depending on their relationship status with the child's mother:

Married fathers

Automatically have full parental rights and responsibilities if they were married to the child's mother at the time of conception, birth, or any time after that.

Unmarried fathers

Can acquire parental rights and responsibilities if they meet certain criteria, such as:

Living with the mother in a permanent life partnership at the time of birth

Agreeing to be identified as the child's father at birth

Applying to be identified as the child's father

Contributing to the child's upbringing

Visitation rights

Fathers have legal rights to visitation with their children, regardless of their relationship status with the mother.

Parental rights surrender

A father can voluntarily surrender his parental rights and responsibilities through legal procedures. This is a serious step that requires careful consideration and legal guidance.

I felt like I had a strong connection with him because me and him would literally agree on everything and I felt like we were almost the same person with very similar points of view on everything, I should’ve seen that as a bit of a red flag too tbh. And the fact we are both autistic, and had very similar special interests.
Everyone says how amazing he is, but he’s leading me on (because I really really fancied him and he could tell), used me for sex once, then gaslights and manipulated me. All his answers are always vague. It’s like he’s either very blunt and cutting… or extremely vague and won’t give a direct answer. Also during sex he refused to use lube or condoms and I stupidly went with it, I’m worried he might’ve possibly done that to give me an sti (but he seemed pretty clean down there). He was also very selfish and I was on top the entire time. The afterwards he says he feels bad and that he’s crossed the line and that we both need to put a line there and not cross it again… but the next lesson starts flirting with me again… then I told him that I won’t be getting lessons for a while because I need to focus on coursework… so I’ve left it at that.
The whole time I felt like I was nothing to him, even though I was giving him everything pretty much and I was feeding his ego.
strange thing is, he got divorced AND left the Uni job (he taught me at uni too) at the same time and said it’s because the principle offered him no work after an argument happened and put it down to the principle being petty. He also said how he has a terrible temper and got a disciplinary after bursting into a rage at another staff member… so this is really suspicious. I also felt like he was opening up to me by telling me all this stuff… but really I was paying for lessons and he was using me as a therapist or thought he could take advantage. Also he’s very good at what he does, but seems to over inflate it and lies about how many gigs he’s done etc.