Search Results: girlfriend and i are different

I’ve liked this girl at my job since I’ve met her. I’ve done things that made it pretty obvious I was crushing on her, I would try to impress her with things, watch her favorite shows and talk about them with her at work, motivate her to pursue her dreams. I was really into her. She had a boyfriend though and eventually I felt it was pointless and I wanted to be respectful. So I tried to move on by dating other girls. They didn’t work out and my last girlfriend was very toxic. I tried burying my feelings for her through other relationships. After that I started thinking about her again, I wanted to tell her that I had liked her all along and everything but I would see her hang out with this guy from work all the time and everyone there basically thinks they are an item or will be. It’s crushing me thinking that he’s probably going to get her, she talks to him all the time. It used to be me. But that was when she had a boyfriend. I stopped talking to her when I dated those girls because I wanted to get over her. I’m not mad that she might be moving on to a different guy but I don’t know if I should try to tell her how I feel or if I should let my feelings go. The thing is she would never know how I felt about her. I just don’t want to make things awkward and I already have anxiety, if she rejects me I’ll probably feel so crushed to have to be around her again.

I’m a man and I think about all the debates I’ve been in my life and when I’m logically proven wrong about a viewpoint it’s usually by other men. Sometimes I won’t admit it out of pride. I might stop debating but deep down know later they got me. Even if it’s not what I wanted to hear it might of been the truth.

However there have been a few isolated moments where women debated me with logic and it gave me pause. For example I remember debating with my girlfriend years ago about homosexuality. She argued that “gay people are born that way” and it was genetics. I thought it was a decision. She then gave me a plausible theory that Mother Nature created homosexual behavior as method to prevent overpopulation.

That theory gave me pause. While it was debatable it was true or not it did make sense. She used logic to convince me which was much more effective than emotion. I did change my mind for some time but later the issue of social contagion has come up in recent years. That’s another debate but I will give her credit about she convinced me about at the time. She said it with pure logic.

However when people use emotion to debate with me I usually only get more entrenched in my views. I also give up arguing at that point because I realize they don’t want to have their minds changed out of ego (especially when debating a woman).

But logic is different story. I care about what IS right vs. BEING right. There is a big difference.