Hello today I’m going to talk about how I got into this situation.
2021 I had dreamed of a guy coming into my life, he had blond hair, blue eyes, he had the kindest personality, he loved kids and a plus was in my dream he had his own kids. Somehow, that guy did come into my life exactly how I imagined him, the only problem was he’s married. In the beginning I was very uninterested in a married man, I didn’t care that he showed interest in me right away when we first me, sure it felt like a connection, and definitely feels like soulmates and no soulmates do not have to be a romantic thing and you can have more than 1, my 2 best friends are my soulmates and they are more like my sisters than romantic relationship, my siblings are my soulmates, and this guy who walked into my life he is my manager sure but it definitely felt like a soulmate connection. So while I was crushing on other people, he had took it upon himself to flirt constantly with me every day that I was in the same time as him. I ignored it at first, I did not find him attractive, turns out, he didn’t need to be attractive in looks, although he’s hot sure any girl can say he’s hot, no that’s not what attracted me, what attracted me was his personality around me, he was only goofy, playful and always fun around me, I’d watch him closely with other people and he’s more serious with them, but with me he was always different and still is.
The more he continued the more he drew me in, I wound up with feelings for him, which started in August, and I’ve been searching for answers on how to stop these feelings but all I get is “Stop being a fucking home wrecker” and “Grow the fuck up he’s married” and “You should just tell him” and “Leave a married man alone” WAKE UP PEOPLE! I wanted advice, so I turned to other sources instead of the internet, I was told “If you’re too scared to tell him how you feel just show him instead.” Even then I was too scared to show him my feelings, but maybe I have been showing him how I feel unconsciously? I know I’ve noticed that we gaze into each other’s eyes and smile, he gives me hugs the way you’d hug a girlfriend, he’s massaged my shoulders and he calls me “My love, love and darling”. So obviously it’s him who’s showing his feelings, I’m trying to hide how I feel, though I give unobvious hints. But the reason I haven’t even told him how I feel is 1: He’s married and I respect that. 2: He has a family and I do not want to be known as someone who wrecked a relationship and tore a family apart.
So the more I think about it, it’s clear he’s reciprocating my feelings, sure I have seen him in my future long before I met him, did I know he was married? No. Did I even know he was actually an existing person? No. Did I plan to be in love with him? No. Because it was all in a dream and now it’s reality, the exact same person I dreamt about and the situation before even knowing him is now reality.
So yeah it’s clear that he is reciprocating my feelings and I am not going to sit here waiting for him to make a move, especially while he’s is married, I’m not going to be his puppet just because he’s either having problems in his marriage or literally going through the process of a divorce. Either way I am not going to wait around for someone who is unavailable, while it’s ok to show signs of attraction I am not going to be his puppet, I hope that I do find someone who can make me fall in love with them and who is well and truly single, what people fail to understand that some times me and others in my situation may see a future with that married person what I want people to know is not to allow yourself to fall into an affair and be known as a home wrecker, try dating other people and maybe the right one will come along and if if if if our married person decides to get a divorce because he (or she) truly feels the same way, it wouldn’t be our fault, it would be completely down to “their marriage was going to end anyway” do I wish a divorce upon them? No. Do I want him to be honest about how he feels?
Yes, he needs to be honest and either try to rekindle his marriage or file a divorce either way I know I’m not going to be the fault of it. This is what people fail to understand, who cares if you aren’t experiencing something like this or haven’t experienced it yet you’ll always call people in my situation a home wrecker. You’ll always say “Grow up” and “Get someone single” and “Stop playing fucking games” I just hope there’s someone out there who will understand this situation and take something from what I’m learning.
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