Being in love with an alcoholic-biggest mistake of my life

Anonymous
Being in love with an alcoholic-biggest mistake of my life

I was guilty of being in love with an alcoholic..I made excuses for him and wasted over a year of my life. He would black out and say and do things that were messed up. Kicked me out of his house late at night once for a stupid reason. He had a tantrum, and says everyone is getting out! Including me..I forgave him. He still continued to have drunk incidents where he couldn’t even get undressed, etc...Last two months I was supporting a healthy lifestyle where we would work out, no drinking at all until the weekend, etc..but I now realize that he can’t drink at all...i went to a party with him this weekend at his family house..he showed up blasted..then tells me he is leaving to hang around his boys and he is protecting me by sending me home..only to find out his “friends” wanted to do some hard core drugs and I can’t be around..I don’t know what took place and I’m not interested in knowing..He sent me an apology in the form of music vids...really??! He always made me feel like I’m at fault or overreactingI was guilty of being in love with an alcoholic..I made excuses for him and wasted over a year of my life. He would black out and say and do things that were messed up. Kicked me out of his house late at night once for a stupid reason. He had a tantrum, and says everyone is getting out! Including me..I forgave him. He still continued to have drunk incidents where he couldn’t even get undressed, etc...Last two months I was supporting a healthy lifestyle where we would work out, no drinking at all until the weekend, etc..but I now realize that he can’t drink at all...i went to a party with him this weekend at his family house..he showed up blasted..then tells me he is leaving to hang around his boys and he is protecting me by sendi me home..only to find out his “family” wanted to do some hard core drugs and I can’t be around..I don’t know what took place and I’m not interested. He sent me an apology in the form of music vids...really??! He always made me feel like I’m at fault or overreacting etc so basically gaslighting. So I have to be strong enough to say F this, I deserve better and I’m not putting up with your shit..he didn’t give two shits about me when I was having anxiety over him ditching me..so I don’t feel sorry for him at all..he screwed it up not me. etc so basically gaslighting. So I have to be strong enough to say F this, I deserve better and I’m not putting up with your shit..he didn’t give two shits about me when I was having anxiety over him ditching me..so I don’t feel sorry for him at all..he screwed it up not me.

Being in love with an alcoholic-biggest mistake of my life
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous
    You wised up early. The some of us took decades to wise up.

    Some interesting statistics...

    9 out of 10 men will leave their alcoholic wives
    1 out of 10 women will leave their alcoholic husbands.

    Consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
    I was beating myself up that I held on for so long until I realized even though it took me a long time I was one of the few who left.

    Be strong. I know you can do it. Even if you care or love him you have to practice some self love and self preservation.

    I knew I didn't want to sit years in Alanon (support group for friends/family members) and get any more "gold" coins for staying in it longer and in the end when you are with someone who is an active alcoholic you are already all alone because their focus no matter how nice a person they are is on their alcohol first.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Marissa095
    Give him an ultimatum it’s either you the alcohol if he chooses alcohol he can’t have you! My father was like this my mom made him choose he choose alcohol he lost me my brother and my mom.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I learned this with my own father so I understand this

    • Marissa095

      I drink but not in excess I never drank to get drunk. I like to have control. And when drunk I know what’s going on.

Most Helpful Guy

  • reptocarl
    You cannot have a relationship of any kind with alcoholics or addicts because their first love isn’t you or even their own kids. Their first love is their next drink or fix
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

40
  • Glad you left. I've been through that too--- he was abusive and it was magnified by the alcohol. Took me a little longer than you to get out. Thank you for sharing your story.
  • DeeDeeDeVour
    Watch the movie 'Leaving Las Vegas' to get a glimpse of the troubles that might lay ahead.
    • Anonymous

      Thanks... saw it a long time ago, but a Star is born I saw too a few months ago.

  • That sucks, sorry to hear about it
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take

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