Search Results: still have feelings for him

My cousin is transgender, and I suspect the guy I was talking to had a sexual interest in transgender women based on things I noticed about him. I opened up to her about how his actions, along with other things he did, left me feeling hurt, unattractive, and not good enough. He ghosted me, and on top of that, I realized he had other sexual preferences that I wasn’t aware of.

I shared my feelings with my cousin, but I still have conflicting emotions about it all. At one point, I even asked her to look at his social media to see if I had missed anything, but then I told her to forget it because I didn’t fully trust her. I worried she might talk about me behind my back, and the thought of that triggered a breakdown because, despite everything, I still have strong feelings for him and just want to feel like I’m enough for him.

However, she went ahead and looked anyway. I found out through my mother that my cousin had not only checked his social media but even attempted to reach out to him. When I confronted my mother, she dismissed my feelings and defended my cousin, saying she would never do anything like that—despite her actions proving otherwise. My mother then tried to gaslight me, saying things like, “I’m sure you’ve done things too,” which was incredibly hurtful.

It broke my heart because I would never betray a family member like that or try to interfere with someone they had been involved with.