Search Results: guys always like my friend

A few months ago, a new guy started at my place. He works in a different area and he caught my eye. I noticed that sometimes he would look at me and smile.

I only see him about 3 times a day in the canteen (for morning break, lunch break and afternoon break). He sits at a table with his colleagues and he is normally looking at his phone.

For some reason, I’ve been paying more attention to him recently and we will glance at each other across the canteen but I always look away first.
I’ve noticed that he will gaze/stare at me and then smile. I’m always the first person to look away.

Sometimes it will catch me off guard, for example, I looked up and saw him staring/smiling at me while I was chatting with friends. I decided to do something about it. The other week, he was walking towards me and we smiled at each other. I said hello to him and he smiled even more, and looked down.

A couple of days after, I looked down at him while he was sat eating and we smiled. Ever since then, he has been avoiding eye contact in close proximity. When he walks past me, he will turn his head away and won’t look at me.

Then yesterday, we were walking towards each other and I looked up at him and smiled. He looked at me, smiled and said “Hiya” in a soft, quiet voice as he walked off. Is he just shy or something? Could he be attracted to me? Not sure why he is purposely avoiding eye contact. We do look at each other from a distance but it’s only a quick glance and not very often.

30F and I don’t think I’ll ever shake my core belief that any decently presentable lady has no prob finding a man, a pretty girl well forget about it. I’m very reserved, I’ve always been but was *friendlier* in my early twenties, now I’m borderline antisocial. I always blamed growing up overweight as the reason why I didn’t get attention from guys/wasn’t popular, I lost weight in my early twenties and have maintained my weight loss since (still slim thick). Again, this weight loss didn’t change the attention I got from guys & I was a bit more sociable back then.

I’m told I’m attractive (from all kinds of people for most of my life & not only family/friends) & the only times attractive guys take initiative are on dating apps. And apps are absolute trash as we know, guys I’d find attractive in person have never made it known to me directly. It’s always that RARE occasion where I think one is maybe making eye contact or someone I knew pointed out a guy was looking at me/word of mouth this or that guy found me attractive etc. Then on dating apps, I’d have guys that I initially considered *potential* eventually showing interest in me (asking out etc) after I got to know them a bit more and I just find a way to dip out.

Im so conflicted. I feel invisible & when a guy appeals to me in some way on a dating app (which should be taken with a grain of salt), I just can’t be bothered for whatever the reason is for me at that moment. It’s apathy/anxiety/self sabotage/confusion etc?