Search Results: what do you want her to say back

I know every couple’s dynamic is different & what may seem dysfunctional or not the usual for some might actually work for others. My mom and her boyfriend have been together since I was 8 (over 20 years) and almost the whole time they’ve been together, they get in verbal fights where they’re cursing each other out a lot/insulting etc. They bounce back quickly enough tho, another thing I’ll add is my mom is the breadwinner. This has always been the case, she makes the money & he takes care of everything else. He is very useful when it comes to handy things, has a ged but has a criminal record (he can’t work bc if the govt. tracks him then he’ll get caught for unpaid child support). She nitpicks at him a lot & he reacts, plus I know he can say ignorant crap that gets her heated too. It goes both ways, I know people looking in think they might sound miserable or that setup is messy but I do genuinely believe they actually love each other. Is this something that I’d want for myself? Absolutely not but I guess never say never? Is it normal for couples to get that heated with each other often? The thing is: my mom always comes across as positive and seems content. I can’t tell if it’s for the sake of her kids or maybe she’s really in a good place with this guy

Why was it okay for him to disrespect my boundaries regarding sex… to make someone feel safe in the beginning just to be hurtful and bring up things that I didn’t want

I feel triggered by his actions because of things that happened in my past and my attachment issue… is that his issue entirely? No.. but what he did still felt so predatory and hurtful

He’s bold enough to do what he did why can’t he be bold enough to tell me he’s bi or that he’s into trans

Why isn’t he bold enough to go with his true attraction… he’s bold enough to hurt me why can’t I hurt him back?

He’s bold enough to insult me and say “ does your dad know that you post those pics “ then maybe I should be bold too and let his dad know what he likes?

He ruined my life and everything I worked so hard for because he couldn’t respect my boundaries and tried manipulation/ coercive methods to get what he wants. It’s not okay. It’s triggering and I hate that I’m still hanging on after a year feeling hurt and worthless

To be straight up and tell him I’m protecting my emotional and mental well being and wasn’t ready for anything and he pretended to care.. it’s wild