Search Results: dating questions

As children, we are told that we must be "fair" to other people, and that usually involves treating them the way we would want to be treated. So, when we start dating, most of us believe that relationships should be "fair." For most, that implies that both participants should make a substantially equal effort for their partner. But some people have different ideas about what "fairness" means, and some people get extremely upset when they decide their partner isn't being "fair."

All relationships can't always be fair. I am getting married on April 27 and my fiancee (who lived in China until she was 29 years old) knows NOTHING about American weddings, and that is what she wants: an American wedding. So I must do all of the planning. I could complain that isn't fair, but what does that accomplish?

I think "fair" isn't a useful concept for relationships. It should be replaced with two questions: are you getting your needs met in the relationship, and is your partner usually contributing to the best of his or her abilities? If the answers are "yes" and "no," then it is most likely a healthy relationship. What do you think?

I just posted a lengthy response to a question about guys ghosting when they ask a friend for a date and get rejected. You are probably familiar with that tired line, "but I don't want to take a chance on ruining our friendship." That resulted in the ghosting that motivated the Asker to post the question.

1. After you reject him, that friendship probably is ruined anyway, because not many guys will want to hang around and watch you dating other guys after they got rejected. So that old line doesn't have much meaning.

2. HOW MANY TIMES have you heard a girl say, "I want my romantic partner to be my best friend." Well, if that's what you REALLY want, why wouldn't you date a friend? You're already halfway to your goal.

So. . . would you date a friend if he or she expressed interest? If you felt some attraction?