How can I avoid unsavory men in the future?

[Selliebeanz]

Right now I’ve had all my dating profiles deleted, not wanting a relationship because I’m trying to somewhat transform my life. I’m working on losing weight and leveling up occupationally (pretty much got a promotion) and just want things to improve because I had hit rock bottom. I’m trying to make it so my emotional equilibrium is being happy alone so I’ve cut myself off from the opposite sex. My question is what inner work can I do to be happy and strong within myself. I’ve dealt with nothing but manipulators, cheaters, liars, users, etc. and I still need to recover from all this. My codependency is slowly being erased which I’m happy for.

[Pegases]

You hinted at it yourself. If you want a good man, be sure you're a good woman. That means actually going to therapy and healing your trauma. It means staying physically active and eating healthy food most often. Food is vibrational, and affects our moods more than most people realize. Next, it means constantly growing, and not shying away from accountability. in my opinion, the biggest obstacles women face today when it comes to dating, and in general is themselves. Because our society praises women for degenerate behavior, and shuns women for any type of self reflection. So as a result, most women are stuck in a loop of choosing trash men which eventually warps their perception of reality. Lastly, contrary to popular belief, the people we end up with romantically, man or woman, are always a reflection of ourselves. So the key to better relationships, starts with you. Sure the men you've dealt with in the past are to blame for what they've done to you, absolutely, and there's no excuse for the things theyve done to you. But what is it about you that led you to those kinds of men in the first place? We always have a choice in who we choose to entertain. Good luck.

[Summeroflove]

Well in real life you can’t cut all men off. Especially working a job. Not all men are bad but if you’re wanting to take a break from relationships that’s fine. Until you feel ready or you feel like you have found someone you can be happy with.

A major thing is having boundaries of sex. If a man just wants to have sex with you. Don’t have sex until marriage… men who only want that will dump you and find someone who they can sleep around with.

But if you live to avoid men in general. That’s kinda hard to do and sexist. I’ve had periods where I really didn’t want a relationship and I didn’t avoid women all together. Just relationships and if someone is asking me out or something I respectfully turn them down.

[Radiate143]

Patience. Men test everything. If you give in in the slightest you are toast. I am. starting to think it isn't even worth the effort. Dating is really horrible. I wouldn't bother.

[Selliebeanz]

What kinds of tests?

[D4nielv]

Generalising men like that is a good sign that you shouldn't be dating at the moment.

[Radiate143]

Men lkke to do a lot of boundary pushing. Also, theybwill disrespect you in little ways to see if you will stand up for yourself or not. Don't be too paranoid about it but if it's wrong to you don't stand for it. Good men loke it and abusers will leave. It's all about filtration.

[Giddyup]

First, I am sorry for your experience, I don't believe that is all men. Yet the ones I know seem to follow what you say😐.

As for the inner work, I will repeat what I've said often here, I think you need to get out and do things by yourself. Once your comfortable by yourself in most situations, you will gain self confidence with others. What I mean is travel, go out to places you like, do anything you want, but do it solo.

For me this was very hard at first. My first vacation solo in groups of people, I cried after. I felt bad for myself, fast forward a few years and I don't even think about doing anything solo. I've been able to get to the point that I believe I am having more fun than others around me, because I'm doing it on my own terms. Now I'm ready to meet someone when it works out.

[D4nielv]

Almost everything you've listed are long term goals. You'll never be completely happy with yourself, so set short term goals that are attainable to keep yourself moving forward and happy with your progress. Having achievements to look back on keeps you in a positive state of mind and helps with your self-confidence.

[BarryLiverstone]

Set 5 realistic and year long goals for yourself. They can include losing weight, adding friends, success in a hobby or new projects at work. Inner work isn’t about dating and giving it’s more about discipline and loving who you are.


Have you found a mentor or people you can share with who will hold you accountable?

[Staximus]

Change the way you select guys and don't accept shitty treatment.

[Anonymous]

Well based on the ending of your question it sounds like you need to choose the opposite of your inclinations.

[you_asked]

Put a Trump bumper sticker on your car.

[eagle1951]

pick the Savory ones instead lol