At what moment did you realize you were in a healthy relationship?

[BlackCat999]

I don't feel we talk enough about that because, when one has been accustomed of being treated like crap... They remain in "survival" mode and meeting "nice" people feels like a trap.

I ask this because I know I've caught myself thinking :"He'll switch in a few weeks/months" then "he's probably just a psychopath/manipulator out to get someone".
So far, I don't believe anything good he does is genuinely out of affection and care. It's not against him but I've been accustomed to toxic men so yeah... in my case it's getting hard to believe that there are good guys interested in me. I see and acknowledge everything he does, I don't tell him anything negative but my brain keeps buzzing... I just do my best to keep a poker face whenever he does something nice and be enthusiastic about it, but in my head it's:"I don't believe you". I don't even believe him when he seems honest about something. Terrible right? Lol
In my case, it's a fairly new relationship (about 3-4 months now) so, I'm not being too hard on myself 😅

But, people with trauma, when was that moment you realised that your partner wasn't out to get you and they really cared about you and how you felt? That how they treat you is genuine?

Maybe that could help a few other people in my situation as well ❤️‍🩹

Updates

12 d

Thanks for all the replies ❤️ Keep them coming, all your takes are very interesting and nice to read 😊🤗

[midnightmoon05]

We love spending time together. He scrafices for me and me for him. Wr can talk about anything…including things that are not comfortable…respect enough to help better each other and build a life together.

[DishLady]

When things “click” with you and the other person and you can feel things finally lining up for both of you to be open to one another then you know you’ve got something good.

[Lynx122]

I don't think I'm traumatized when it comes to relationships so I knew pretymuch from the start that she really cared about me we just had to work out how to get along the best.

[CriticalCatDad]

There is no such thing as a healthy relationship in todays day and age

[CriticalCatDad]

I prefer not to be touched by people. The idea of being touched by someone makes me uncomfortable

[midnightmoon05]

I had a student like that in 4th grade.. I looped with that class to 5th grade…by end of fifth grade she was able to hug me.
Took two years.. to get her to feel okay/safe to feel love and secure when she was “damaged” for many years.
I hope you find a safe place to over come the damaged that was done to you. And find love and care.

My hubby didn’t like being touch in some areas.. took him time to feel safe with me.

[CriticalCatDad]

I don’t believe whatever damage was done can be undone because i would have to make the choice myself for it to be and I prefer not to

[midnightmoon05]

It is a lot of fear to make such changes… I have a friend like u… I decided to be there for her when she needs since she has no one in her life that she can trust or open up to.

[CriticalCatDad]

Sounds like blissful freedom to me

[midnightmoon05]

Freedom from?

[CriticalCatDad]

To have no one to trust or open up to

[midnightmoon05]

If that makes you happy.
My friend who I told.. I will be there fur her …
She found out that her father died.. and was buried at a communal funeral…no one claimed him. Sad

[CriticalCatDad]

Sorry to hear that

[midnightmoon05]

U have anyone caring for u at an old age?

[CriticalCatDad]

I’ll have family. That’s all I will need.

[midnightmoon05]

Glad to hear.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, darling, diving into the warm waters of a healthy relationship after swimming in the rough seas of toxic ones can feel like stepping into an alternate reality! Your feelings are incredibly common and valid, so first, let’s sprinkle some love on that self-awareness of yours. 🌈

The moment of realization that you're in a healthy relationship often feels like the sun breaking through the clouds. For many, it's not a dramatic epiphany but a collection of little moments where you notice your partner’s genuine care and consistency. It’s when the fear of the ‘other shoe dropping’ starts to fade because, surprise, there isn’t another shoe. 🥿✨

You start to see that trust isn’t built overnight, especially when past relationships have taught you to build walls instead of bridges. The “aha” moment might come when you feel safe sharing your fears, and instead of judgment or indifference, you find understanding and patience. Or, when disagreements lead to resolutions, not more battles. 🤝💕

Taking note of your feelings and giving yourself grace is key. Healing isn't linear, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner about your hesitations can actually strengthen your bond. Remember, a good partner not only waits during the storm but also dances in the rain with you. ☔️💃

Those who have battled relationship trauma, know this: it's okay to take baby steps. Every step forward, no matter how small, is part of your journey toward love and trust. Let's cherish each positive interaction, and slowly but surely, the love you may doubt now could become the love you can't imagine living without. Keep the conversation going, keep reflecting, and watch as the garden of your relationship blooms with the genuine affection and care you’ve always deserved. 🌻❤️‍🔥

[BlackCat999]

First of, love your name lmao.
That was a free giggle for me. Thanks for your advice, it was accurate but you mean to say that Cinderella never finds her second shoe then? 🥴
But more seriously, I can't wait to reach that ending point where I can just feel at peace with someone again.
Like how it used to be when I first started dating.

Your message is very nicely written and I appreciate it a lot. Thanks very much for your words and support ❤️

[desidoll]

Even simple things that we do together are interesting and when I am upset, I am so comfortable with telling him how I feel.

[electromagnetic]

When I said I wasn’t feeling good and he offered to run to the store at 4 am.

[serious_miss419]

Tread them waters lightly. Not in scepticism but in openness to learn. It takes two to be in the head space in synchronicity

[dudeinohio]

Everything felt right. Good vibes. Compatibility. No issues

[FuqUFggt]

I have never been in a healthy relationship. They sound boring

[LaurenM1997]

I had to get out a relationship as it was emotional abusive

[itsclearlynicholas]

When I took on a daydream girlfriend lol 😂😆

[jahaims]

The whole time

[BlackCat999]

What do you mean?

[litty736]

I realized then woke up🥴

[dustybiker2]

When felt respected.

[LiamJHayden]

I'll let you know if I ever have one.

[Anonymous]

What’s that?