If an established friend expressed romantic/sexual interest in you, and you at least felt some physical attraction, would you date them?

Question

I just posted a lengthy response to a question about guys ghosting when they ask a friend for a date and get rejected. You are probably familiar with that tired line, "but I don't want to take a chance on ruining our friendship." That resulted in the ghosting that motivated the Asker to post the question.

1. After you reject him, that friendship probably is ruined anyway, because not many guys will want to hang around and watch you dating other guys after they got rejected. So that old line doesn't have much meaning.

2. HOW MANY TIMES have you heard a girl say, "I want my romantic partner to be my best friend." Well, if that's what you REALLY want, why wouldn't you date a friend? You're already halfway to your goal.

So. . . would you date a friend if he or she expressed interest? If you felt some attraction?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I would consider dating someone who was already my friend if I was somewhat attracted to them, and especially if I was strongly attracted to them.

After all, the purpose of dating is to become intimate friends. So if we were already friends, the "getting to know you" part of dating would already be done. All that's left is to find out what kind of sexual inclinations she has. Is she horny for me?

Besides, it's just a date. It's not a marriage proposal. Why not go out, have some fun, and see how things go? It might turn into a deep, intimate relationship or even a perfect relationship, or it might not. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Sparkie460 · Accepted Answer

I dated my female friend and married her

DaveJord · Answer

Basically, I have looked this up before, and something like 75% of people that eventually date, had some type of preexisting relationship prior to dating or prior to the relationship turning sexual. The guy you know from the coffee shop, a co-worker, or a guy you have known from some time as an acquaintance and then one day you are like why not give him a chance.

So actually, it very common for people to date end up dating freinds, which is why most people are very suspicious of people with lots of opposite sex freinds. Because it's a 50/50 chance at some point you might consider changing the nature of that relationship at any given time.

How Often Friends Become Lovers Psychology Today - www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202108/how-often-friends-become-lovers

The study shows that basically younger people have more freinds and connections with opposite sex freinds. Over time they lose contact with most of them, but as people get older their opposite sex friendship become more important to them... and 70% of romantic relationships start as friendships first.

It also suggests that the older you become the more likely you look revisit some of these friendships and consider then alternatives. This mostly do to the fact that when you are younger you have lots of options and choices and as you age, fewer singles, geographic limitations and availability become reasons as to why people start to value romantic relationships with their friends.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

If I had feelings for him from the very beginning and then we somehow ended up being friends, those feelings wouldn’t just go away.

But I have a history if friend-zoning men I had feelings for just because I had this intense fear of relationships and being hurt. So I sabotaged things.

I even did it with my ex early on and he just didn’t agree on that, he made sure that he would never be my friend and he would only be my BOYFRIEND. Which I am very happy about, I am grateful that he didn’t give up on me.

I did my best to sabotage it and I failed thankfully.

Once committed I am stable and no longer sabotage anything.

coachTanthony · Answer

I think most guys would because let's face it they aren't there for the friendship they waiting for their chance to smash.

Constatine · Answer

Ones i cam into the room and my friend ( girl ) was hanging on the couch watching a romantic type movie. She asked me to join her so i nested me half beside her while holding her ( she almost fell of the couch ) . Half way the movie she looked at me and said : " This is nice. I wished a had a boyfriend just like you " . The only stupid thing i could say was : " ... Why do you need another me , while you have me..." realizing what i just said. She looked at me and smiled.

So yeah basically we thought the same..

after 1.5 years we broke up because she had to move to another continent.

So if the interest is coming from both sides... sure you can always try.

VIVANT · Answer

If I’m attracted to him yes, sure. That would be perfect 👍🏼 but most likely if I’m attracted to my friend and I have an interest in dating, I’d already have asked him out.

I most often ‘don’t date’ bc I do not want to date but bc I didn’t like the particular guy. Bc most people when dating comes up as a question, we already know each other, it’s not simply physical. I’d never date someone I do not know. Never.

I am not sure how people who are attracted to friends end up just friends… in my opinion friendship between genders is usually bc there is no personal attraction (even if they are attractive) but you like them as a person,

if you like them as a person and you are attracted to them and you want to date in general, I don't know why you would not date them.

so either you (not you but the proverbial “you”) don’t actually like them much as a person, or you really are not attracted to them, or you do not want to date in general. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anemone978 · Answer

I don't think I would date them unless I was really into them.. I would just let them leave if they want because if he wants sex he can get it from someone else if our friendship means nothing.. then meh.. so be it..

Hawkes_Lady · Answer

If I felt a strong attraction to the person then yes, I would take a chance. I do want my partner to be my best friend. I would probably even give it a chance if there was just a little attraction because I think that it would be worth the risk. As you said, the friendship would most likely be over anyway, because who wants to see the person they're attracted to go out with someone else? It may not work, but at least you would have tried.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Here is what people are doing! They ignore all the attraction with that person because they are friends which i always ask (yea! So?) So people jump to the conclusion that you don't date a friend, things will be weird if this does not work out. So the idea of being closer with the person you have known and like is already ruined with the idea of (if it doesn't work out). I married a friend and it is amazing.

Anonymous · Answer

i dont date people just based on liking how they look/wanting to fuck them, need to like them romantically too

but anyways like lets say a friend was into me and i thought they were cute, i guess i could give them a chance to make me like them if you see what i mean. but i wouldn't straight up date them like that unless i had at least a little bit of a crush on them

Phoenix98 · Answer

If I myself felt attraction and mutual interest in her then yes I'd give it a shot most if not all of my ex girlfriends were usually friends first.

But if I didn't feel anything for her and didn't have any interest in her then no.

clampfan101 · Answer

The last two. I think love should start as friendship, and a relationship should always have a strong friendship in it.

Being “more than friends” does not mean no longer being friends. Friendship is a big part of love.

sheikalana · Answer

No. I do not allow myself to feel attracted to other men especially if they're friends. I'm married and I take my marriage too seriously to be playing those stupid games.

Kreneman · Answer

I dated one of my female friends which I had strong feelings for back in the days and what I learned are that we were not ready nor were we on the same page and I stopped pursuing her for the right reason. We are still caring friends till this day and now I am engaged to a beautiful black woman from Africa.

DancingQueen16 · Answer

I'm actually dating my best friend now and I couldn't be happier

exitseven · Answer

I would date her if I already did not have a girlfriend.

Likes2drive · Answer

Probably why most guys are friends with women , he is just waiting to see if it can ever become more later on, it’s pretty rare where they are just friends for years and that’s all it ever is

soulOnDisplay · Answer

Being a friend is usually THE reason for not dating you.

Anonymous · Answer

An ex girlfriend of mine who's a lesbian asked for sex after she broke up with her girlfriend, she stayed at my place while she got back on her feet. Who was j to refuse

Nikki1989 · Answer

Every single person I have ever dated started out as a friend.

Shark_61695 · Answer

If we shared enough interests I'd certainly consider it strongly.

If an established friend expressed romantic/sexual interest in you, and you at least felt some physical attraction, would you date them?

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