Search Results: good match for this guy

Long story short, we matched & spoke for a few wks on bumble a few months ago. He asked to meet up, the times he gave weren’t working & I was new at a job/stressed at the time. He follows up again during this time & I didn’t follow through, flash fwd to a little over a month ago & I regretted not meeting up. I sent him a well thought message & he never replied so I assumed he wasn’t interested. 2 wks ago, we end up matching on another app & I was shocked. He msgs me saying he remembers me & I told him I tried reaching out recently but apparently he didn’t know bc he hasn’t checked bumble in a while. He is the one who then asked for another chance from me since I thought he left me on read a few months ago.

We met up for first time last Sat afternoon, he bought me food at this casual Mexican spot & he seemed okay with continuing talking but I ended it a little over the hr mark (said I had to finish errands). He asked if I had something planned & I said yes, he wanted to know where my car was & wanted to walk me to my car. I was kind of walking in front of him though, I said thanks and he said have a good rest of your day. It’s not like he ended the meet-up or there was awkward silence during it, I felt like we both spoke enough/convo flowed fine but I must’ve overestimated it. Everyone on the internet is saying I made it obvious I wasn’t interested but he was kind of reserved too, I’ve acted less interested meeting guys before & they still wanted to meet again🤷🏻‍♀️. Sounds mutual in this case

We’re currently in a dating app era & the idea behind dating apps seems practical yet you hear more bad than good things about them. Almost 30 & I’ve never been in a LTR, I have accomplished everything I currently want out of life but been able to find a quality guy. I’ve owned a condo & strive to eventually own a home in a few years, are dating apps to blame behind being single or is there more to it (aka am I the issue)? I’ve been told I’m attractive by all kinds of people for a good chunk of my life but I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (getting checked out doesn’t count).
The only times guys I find attractive have acknowledged me were on dating apps, it’s just there’s times where maybe I feel burnt out & can’t be bothered to end up meeting that guy in person.

Or when I feel like I have *options*/ I’m in a mood where I just don’t want to put in the effort. And when the app outlook looks dismal at a given moment (like now), I consider deleting & reinstalling at a later time. I get bored after communicating too long etc, it may seem like self sabotage topped with my terrible anxiety but I’ve never felt SO unsure about something in my life & that *something* is dating. Unsure if my lack of libido/lack of interest in being sexual might play a part (no health issues). There’s always that voice in the back of my mind that makes me think the right guy will change all of that but who really knows. I’m worried I’ll be shriveled up & when I finally have that drive, it’ll be too late to find a match. I heard an influencer say the other day that there shouldn’t be pressure or a rush to date, it’s an opportunity that’ll always be available.

TL; DR: Is dating hard for most? And is my case bad luck or someone unsure of what she wants?

You know when you just have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days or every other day. Dating apps are the only way I’ve tried dating as I dont have a social life but dating apps have been successful for quite a few people I know. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. A lot of the time, I expect the guy to be a certain way from their profile & I just get disappointed because they’re so different even though they didn’t catfish me, am I being unrealistic? I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it (it’s always word of mouth).

Maybe this is an irrelevant comparison but I mean I can do everything in my life but find a LTR with a man like buy property, get decent jobs etc but what gives? I’m told I’m attractive but being pretty much 30…I can’t help but believe it really is bad luck.