Search Results: controlling men

Women are notorious for sending mixed messages and “shit testing” men. They say something is okay when it really isn’t. They want to see if the guy is self controlled and wise enough to pass the test.

However there are a few scenarios men are guilty of this as well. I can think of only two scenarios where men unfairly “shit test” women.

Shit Test #1: He pressures her to have sex early. She gives it up and he then later loses respect for her.

A lot of men judge women for being promiscuous/easy. If she initiating random sex with lots of guys that’s one thing. But if a guy pressures her to do it and she gives in (and enjoys it) then he really has no right to judge her. It was all his idea.

Yet there are some men who do this and frankly it’s a double standard bs. I actually stayed in long term relationships with all three of my past gfs despite having sex with all on them within 3 dates. One ex girlfriend said she would of done it on our first date (we did on the second) if I initiated. But I am actually glad I didn’t.

Shit Test #2: Telling her you don’t mind if she hangs out and talks (a lot) with other guys including exes. However when she does the man gets angry/jealous.

Jealousy is a tricky bastard. On one end a very controlling man is extremely insecure. He gets pissed off if another guy looks to long at his girlfriend or tries to chat with her (often the other guy doesn’t know she’s taken). It can actually be a compliment when other guys check out your girlfriend/wife JUST as long they are respectful about it. But when they cross a line it deserves an ass kicking.

On the flip side some guys seemingly don’t mind at all of their girlfriend/wife hang out with other guys and even do more with them. It’s like they are somehow demonstrating they aren’t controlled by jealousy.

But the truth is some guys “say” it’s alright when deep down they are not at all okay with it. It’s there way of “testing” their girlfriend/wife to make sure they really love them.

I hate to say it but as man I usually have my mind made up within 30 seconds of meeting a woman of how physically attracted I am to her.

Emotional attraction does still weigh heavily into it though. She can be hot af but if I can’t stand her personality and/or she’s has no genuine interest in me I can move on. I can also move on a lot faster nowadays vs. when I was younger.

But the issue is often come across women I find that are 5’s or 6’s. They aren’t repugnant or anything but I don’t feel any butterfly’s in my stomach either. More often than not they really like me because while I am nice to them I also don’t bend over backwards for them either. I’m just as happy to be there or not be there. Either way is fine. So it’s easy to be myself.

But as a man I find that the ugly truth is I have never found myself growing in attraction for average looking women despite some of them having excellent personalities. I really have tried to “check myself” on this. Tell myself to look deeper. Tell myself to “grow up”. Feel guilty af about it.

But if tried to force myself to date and commit to average looking yet great personality girls in the past. It always ends in disaster. I quickly lose interest in sex and find myself having less patience about their problems. And I know that’s not fair at all.

Is it possible for a man to slowly fall in love with a woman he isn’t attracted to?

I am asking this because I have an opportunity to get married to an average looking girl who is outstanding in all other ways. She’s a very hard worker, respectful, excellent personality, moderate conservative, has no vices, etc. She’s also younger (27) yet mature and independent.

Yet she has a rather unattractive face and I feel Iike complete shit saying that. She’s was born with that those facial features and has zero control over them. I keep kicking myself not to judge that but it’s hard.

Growing up I always heard that women understand men better than men understand women.

To a certain extent that makes sense. Women usually have better intuition and relationships are a big deal to them. Plus they are usually taught at an earlier age on what traps/dangers avoid with men. Given women can get pregnant and men can’t I understand the parental concern there.

But as I got older I have found that many women do not understand men at all. If they did then they wouldn’t come up with all these radical feminist bs “movements” (metoo a few years ago) They would have the rationale to understand that a minority of men will always be evil. They need to look out (and call out) the true scumbags vs. having blanket stereotyping/discrimination against large swathes of men.

Of course I know most women aren’t radical feminists. But how and why do these people have so much power and influence when most people disagree with them (even if they don’t publicly say it).

Guys do have strong impulsive sex drives and we are taught to be competitive/independent. But most of us aren’t evil and have zero interest in controlling women.