Search Results: girlfriend or best friend

I was supposed to date this guy, but my mental health kept making me too nervous to meet and I had a lot of triggers around me etc so I'd always put it off.. I'd say maybe 3 times max. He then meets up with another girl he's been talking to alongside me and they get together, I'm talking to him here and there but nothing flirty at this point. We then talk most days and establish we're friends, he's happy and I'm dating. Fast forward a few months to this week. We've spoken everyday on video call for an hour each time, there's been a few moments where things have gotten inappropriate and semi flirty.. we messaged constantly through the day, he sends me videos etc and so I've stupidly caught feelings again. I've been honest and told him, told him I'm going to give him space to be happy with his girlfriend and he agrees this is the best idea but still wants to call once a week to check in etc. Justified how we spoke to each other as garage talk (we are both mechanics) but I told him it's different for me and makes me nervous and think about him inappropriately. He has only been with her maybe a month or 2 but that's not the point, and I can't keep sitting here thinking "that should have been me" but I really need a friend and have nobody now.. I don't know if I did the right thing.. maybe it was the right thing for them and not for me? I'll never be "that" girl though, so I guess it doesn't matter what's right for me if it's the right thing to do.