Search Results: online love

Growing up, I was a major outcast and suffered with a lot of severe mental health issues. I had interests that were obsessive and unusual, such as an interest in fire alarms, phone systems, and intercoms. I missed a lot of school due to mental health reasons that required hospitalization and residential treatment. I hardly fit in with anyone at school, and girls especially didn't pay any attention to me. I was also (and still am) short in height at 5'6". I missed a lot of developmental milestones that I reap today.

I was never athletic in school. I was not involved in sports really. I was, however, involved in boy scouts up to age 16 and transitioned into the fire explorer programs.

Socially, I have always struggled. I was hoping adulthood would be better, but it turned out to be worse and a nightmare.

I am 27, almost 28, and I never had a real girlfriend. My absolute biggest regret that kills me to this day is not experiencing young romance. I so wish I was able to form those memories with a girl when I was young who was around my age.

It wasn't until I was around 19 when I had my first kiss with this girl I found repulsive to me. I tried dating her, but it just didn't feel right. She just was not attractive to me.

Also, there was this girl named Izzy that was around 15 when I was 18. Although we cuddled and I kissed her, she became a transgender man and resents me. There is no going back there.

When I was 20, I lost my virginity to another 16 year old girl during a weekend fling. She did not want anything to do with me romantically after that. In fact, I was convicted of stalking because of her (long story).

After that, all I have had is online things with girls where they rejected me upon meeting me in person because I was unattractive to them.

I haven't touched a girl in 7 years. Meanwhile, all my peers and former friends I have known are married and have kids.

I want a woman without a romantic past where we can be each other's first loves.

I came so close to being a girl's first love and first everything.

Back in 2020, I was in a coding forum and met this devout Catholic girl who was homeschooled. She was 17 at the time, almost 18. I remember the very first conversation we had till this day. We really hit it off.

She later disclosed she never had a boyfriend or a first love. She had a crush on a guy but she was never close to him. In fact, she never had a male friend before she met me.

We talked every day and formed an online thing. I remember us talking about getting married at one point, where we would go on our honeymoon, and how we would name our kids. I was anticipating on marrying her.

A week after her 18th birthday, I went to go see her. She rejected me upon meeting in person. I was crushed beyond words.

Fast forwarding, she recently married this guy a few months ago who got to be her first everything. I still have nightmares about it. I had to be hospitalized because it was so traumatizing to me.

My biggest fear is not being able to find another woman like Rachel was when we first met. I fear that I will not find another girl that has never had her first love.

I am 27, almost 28, and I never had a real girlfriend. I am a frontend software engineer that makes good money. I work remote from home, so I spend a lot of my time alone.

I am seeking a woman that has the same inexperience as I am. I am wanting a woman that has never had a boyfriend or a close romantic bond with a guy before, especially from her youth. I want me and a woman to be each other's first loves.

I came very close one time to getting that. Two years ago, I met this girl online. We hit it off and talked every day. She never had a boyfriend or even a male friend before she met me. She was also a virgin, a devout Catholic, and homeschooled with 6 other younger siblings. Sadly, shortly after her 18th birthday, she rejected me upon meeting in person. She eventually met another guy who she married and got to be her first everything. I am still devistated about it till this day. I want to find another woman like her when we first met.

I am starting to think I may have to look for a wife abroad, like over in Asia like Vietnam or Thailand to find what I am looking for.

Sometimes I think that the internet can be a very divisive place.
I feel like men and women are meant to interact with each other in person in a more natural way. I feel like going online and reading the rants of angry individuals, or every little thought of the opposite sex is sometimes unhealthy.
I know that I start to feel refreshed when I take a break from it. I start to see women in a less threatening way, and I start to feel the way I'm supposed to feel about them without any animosity. I start to forget all of the negative things online, and I start to enjoy women in the moment again.