Search Results: is he cheating

These are both awful scenarios but before answering which is worse really take time to analyze because for me initially I chose one to be worse and I thought of it more and more I realized that for me the other situation was worse than the one I initially felt was the worse one so I’m curious what others conclude between these two awful situations

1st scenario

your partner cheated and when it all came to light he confessed and repented and explained it happened because I felt unloved and lonely (you’ve been rejecting your partner for years now depriving your partner of sex) not a reason to cheat, there never is but it is what lead to the present situation and wants to make it work and learn to communicate

the right thing to do there was to communicate and reach an agreement but humans make mistakes and that’s what happened and realized it only after the fact & trying to make things work to mend the broken relationship.

2nd scenario

you find out your partner has been sending videos of you both having sex where you’re full exposed and naked with people that you see regularly and the people watching it are other married people but their partner also doesn’t know that their partner is watching that stuff.
Doesn’t want the relationship to end and has apologized

Which of these is worse and which is less hurtful and which one is more likely to end in the relationship actually overcoming the awful situation?

Valid / not valid?

family of 3

mother earns 50 /hour

sometimes 59/hour

works full time, many times even picks up overtime because she has free babysitting.
spends minimal time with her 2 children because she knows there’s always someone watching her kids who she trusts

father earns less but has a promising future because of inherited business

they were given a home they didn’t have to buy, they don’t pay rent only regular bills like water/ power.

she deprives him of sex for years but the random time they finally have it she gets pregnant.

she voices out that she doesn’t want more kids. that they have debt & want to be able to giver EVERYTHING to their 2 current children.
bringing another child would make it impossible to be taking their two children around the world to enjoy activities from other states & countries

they agree to terminate the pregnancy

2 days later she finds out he had sex with another woman & has a lot of naked videos of other women

he admits his fault & agrees he fucked up but wants to fix the situation

he says he went astray because she was not giving him any sex for a very long time. any attempt to try was rejected repeatedly

she refuses to explain why she was not giving him sex. voices out that she is happy she got rid of the new baby because how can she have another child of this cheater!

she is hurt and feels humiliated

later we discover she had deleted messages of sexual talk with another man from months ago. She gaslit her partner into thinking that that is not cheating because it’s not physical

He wants to fix things, asks for forgiveness

she says she cannot forgive

he says he’s trying to save the family in spite of the errors because nobody is perfect and he only did it because he felt abandoned and Lonley to the point that even she referred to him as a roommate

she says he ruined the family with his actions

he says he committed an error but wants to keep the family together

who is right?

In your opinion, which is more painful?

I'm curious to see if men and women experience it differently.