Search Results: we never fight

I don't know if I can take anymore. I cook; I clean; I work cybersecurity; I bodybuild; and the worst part of it all has been her. But. The best part of it all has also been her.

I am angry. She consistently says she'll help me out around the house, but words are just words, and she rarely if ever follows through.

Her gifts to me are only things she wants. She got me steak knives for my birthday, because she wanted new steak knives. She mocked me feeling sad over the death of my mother, 7 months into the relationship. Fought with me at my graduation. Every important moment of my life has been sundered by her.

Even her sister has warned me that she just gaslights constantly.

But, I get angry at her, too, insult her, mock her, raise my voice when we fight. And that's relationships, right? I have many faults, too, so is it fair of me to judge hers and say I can't bear them?

She also taught me so many things and we've shared so many wonderful moments together.

I have a great career, great body, and I'm working harder and harder on myself to become a better version of me, spiritually, mentally, physically. Everything. But she uses that against me and exploits my willingness to olive branch. She exploits my willingness to sit down and talk about what I'm doing wrong, never admitting to anything, and making the whole relationship a defect in me that I must always make up for but never can fully. My faults are mine, and also her faults are also mine. It's such a heavy burden.

But. I'm looking at these pictures and videos of our happy moments. And I can't help but think that I am thinking about throwing away 3 years of blood sweat and tears. Not to mention I'm 1,100 miles from my home now, with no friends here, and only her, so I'm utterly alone aside from the fact that we still live together.

Thankfully I make enough money now to pay double rent for a couple months if I decide to break the lease.

Anyway. Is there ever hope with a covert narcissist?

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution.

D) Other - comment please.

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution. No fun.

D) Other - comment please.