Search Results: will he call me

I got emotional when I watched a TV show called "Time of death", it follows the last days or months of someone who's terminal. I got emotional as the mom gave her speech in which she expressed how horrible it was to see her son rapidly deteriorate from cancer, and fade away.

It also made me think about my childhood dog, Katie. She ended up getting sicker and sicker as her pancreas started shutting down and she could hardly walk down the stairs. She was my dog from 2007-2020. As previously mentioned, I never fit in, anywhere, Katie was my everything.

I was closer to her than most people are with their siblings, I hated being away from her, and she always howled, cried out and desperately lunged at me every time I left for school. She'd wait by the window for me, jump up, wagging her tail, and as I come in, there was a love seat by the door She'd run up, stand on, and lick me. She'd put her two paws on my shoulders to do it.

When I had surgery and was in the hospital, she refused to leave my room, even to use the bathroom and when I came back, she always cuddled so close to me and I'd always hold her close. Seeing her condition worsen and her strength fade was so hard. I'd have to carry her up and down the stairs, she'd be scared to try to walk down them.

Then I'd have to bring food up to her, her worry and sorrow always on her face as I desperately tried to comfort her. Then the day came, I remember how even in her last moments, she looked up and licked me as i told her how much I loved her, and how I'd never forget her.

I see now that although I have dogs now and love them, Katie's death burned the deepest hole in my heart.

I'm not ashamed to admit that my eyes are quite wet as I write this, and I sobbed as I looked at this photo taken days before her death. Seeing her nose, her eyes, I really loved her. To Katie, I will always remember you, thank you for loving me, thank you for staying with me, and thank you for being my dog❤️

Society in the last 150 years has changed into a do as you want with no gilt or shame. A term called grace of no matter what you do started to be looked at as the new way.

Even with the 3 main religions scriptures saying that is not the case, in fact in the Christian and Jewish faith the two scriptures say the exact opposite. That you are not free to do as you want without being punished by the higher power of the religion. But society has made a new tradition and passed down it as truth.

But why dose it say that in the scriptures of the two... to treat all with respect and acceptance, do not judge (only to judge on what the person shows and tells you themself), treat everyones problems as your own? Because we as humans are dependent on being part of society and the best way to maintain a positive healthy society is for all to accept and help each other.

But now society has become so selfish and judgmental that religion has became a business catering to it. It is also a fact that being real nice is now looked as not normal. What society wants is the freedom to do as one wishes without any negative effects. Now Christian's if you are thinking this is not true. It is in the new testament of your Bible from the first followers (no follower sins, only a child of the devil sins) and the first teacher who is called the son of God said (only the ones who do what the father wants = (what he said to do, how to live like, in the old testament) will go in heaven. This means if you judge someone buy society label you are going against your own god. With religion changing into what society wants comes danger. Because someone with the believe in there heart, mind and soul, that no matter what they do they will have the grace of their god. Has no limit to the devastation they can cause other people. So if their mind breaks from not being accepted and rejected by society because society dose not follow what is written. You end up with what happened in Tumbler Ridge BC

I've been thinking, and I've come along a train of thought which holds not wanting to ask for help as a culprit for a ton of issues I've faced in the past.

As a guy, there is a desire to not rely on others for help and to handle things alone, but this is a dangerous idea as it encouraged me to step outside my lane out of a desire to prove I can handle it.

This is a huge barrier to progress as a desire to handle things alone doesn't mean I will succeed, it just means I need to step back and humble up, ask the right questions, have an experienced person handy, and then maybe.

But this "I gotta do it alone", that needs to stop. While I don't intend to rely on others, I do intend to educate myself more, explore my natural skillsets while gaining new ones, and knowing my place.

One instance where I felt ashamed to accept help was last year when I was hospitalized for a serious lung infection which came as a result of my alcohol problems leading to being taken off Trikafta, a medication for my Cystic Fibrosis which has done nothing less than give me a new life.

Now alcohol is gone, Trikafta is back, coughing and labored breathing are gone, too. But in the hospital, I recieved IV antibiotics, but the IV machine kept on stopping.

Not wanting to keep bothering nurses when all I needed was the IV machine to go back to working, I asked one nurse how to fix it, so I wouldn't be such a burden on the staff.

She giggled and playfully hit me with a newspaper, she was right, those liberties aren't mine to take, the whole reason I was sick, at all, is because I was an irresponsible mess who drank more rum than Jack Sparrow.

This issue was fixed by a PICC line being inserted in me, which I used to finish my rounds of antibiotics and from there, I changed my life but I still feel ashamed to keep hitting the call button when I just needed the machine to work again.

Have you felt ashamed to ask for, or accept assistance from others?