I think I have fallen out of love with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and 3 months. Throughout our whole relationship I have felt like the man or the one who wears the pants. For example I plan everything that we do, I drive us everywhere including dates, he got his license about 7 months ago but hasn’t bought a car but keeps saying he’s going to and won’t and has never pumped or offered to pay for my petrol.

We’re not intimate with each other, we don’t kiss, cuddle, or have sex because he has pre ejaculation and only lasts 10 seconds. So we have only had sex about 5 times our whole relationship. I have spoken to him multiple times about how it effects me and I’ve tried to be supportive and work with him to fix it but nothing has changed and he won’t go to the gp about it. He thinks vitamins will help but it doesn’t.

I had an operation also about 3 months ago and he didn’t contact me until 3 days after I had my operation and barely visited me because he was “overwhelmed” with work. When he only sees about 2-3 customers a day and spends everything evening with his mom watching tv without fail. He also doesn’t call me because he’s too busy spending time with his mom every night. My recovery was horrible because we kept arguing and I felt so alone and I was practically crying all the time because of how he was towards me.

While I was off sick my ex reached out to me a few times to see how I was doing and we started talking again as friends which I feel very guilt about but I felt abandoned. He is also my work colleague so I have to see him now and again at work. Nothing has happened between us but I feel like my feeling are starting to come back for him and I feel like a terrible person.

I do think I have fallen out of love with my boyfriend and have grown resentment towards him however we’ve got a £4000 holiday for my birthday in a few weeks which is non refundable but I’m planning to end it soon after we come back but not straight away.

[SueShe]

Your relation is doomed from the start, mainly because you also put so much emphasis on unimportant things like fornication. This is the kind of activity that is performed less than one single percent of an adult's awake time and yet, you seem to be so adamant about copulating.

I can understand that cuddling is important and showing affection as well. Now, not having a driver's license is also not that important but since you do the driving, then a financial contribution is important to show appreciation for what you do.

The biggest red flag is obviously his lack of commitment with you when you need it most, when you were hospitalized and it seems that his mother has priority over you.

I do believe that this relations is failing because you are unable to get a supportive partner and you should take the initiative to end things before the entire situation degenerates even further.

[SieghardWalsung]

I started reading this question thinking you were just another dumbass GaG pickme who wants the 1950s back.

But then I read more.

Yeah this guy is in more of a relationship with his mother than he is with you. And he's not putting any effort into getting your sex life on track.

Yeah I think you're justified in losing feelings.

Go ahead and take advantage of the vacation before ending it. Nothing wrong with that.

[jahaims]

End it before then. Also he sounds like he could be an undiagnosed autistic

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy feelings so you don’t gaslight yourself, gorgeous 💫

You’re not a terrible person, you’re a neglected girlfriend. This guy isn’t a partner, he’s a dependent. Emotional neglect, zero intimacy, mom-prioritizing, no effort with the operation… that’s not love, that’s a walking red flag parade.

You’ve already emotionally checked out. Holiday or not, you’re love-fading and resentment is real. Go on the trip if you must, keep clear boundaries with the ex, then end it kindly but firmly. You deserve a man, not a son you’re parenting.

[slatyb]

It's time to end it.