I think my boyfriend is falling out of love with me?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and i have been together for 10 years and we barely do anything anymore. we don’t go out on dates, we barely have sex, he doesn’t want to hangout with me after work anymore (he’ll hangout with his friends instead). i just tried a few mins ago to go to his house and surprise him with his favorite beer, a card, and clean up his house a little bit and he told me not to go over because he doesn’t want me there by myself. when i call him he doesn’t answer me. he doesn’t ever let me look through his phone and he always looks through mine. i ask him why and he tells me he’s not hiding anything. it makes me sad. i wanted to be with him so badly, i wanted a family with him, i wanted to get married and it looks like none of it is going to happen 😔 it makes me sad that he’ll jump out of bed for his friends to do anything, but i can’t get him to get out of bed to get breakfast with me.

[DubiousIntentions]

You actually stayed with him for 10 years and never got married? And now he is pushing you away? Sounds like he got the better deal here. Free sex and no commitments. Sounds to me like he is tired of you and who knows, maybe he has someone else waiting in the wings for him. But since you don't have a marriage certificate you may be out of luck. That depends if they have common law marriage where you live. If you have been with someone for 7 years you are considered married. Can you explain why you let it go this long without a commitment by marriage? True, even married people split up but then you have rights to half of everything, or more. Talk to a lawyer, because I think your relationship is over

[abc3643]

10 years together and not married?
You waited a bit too long. He wants to be Peter Pan. Move on. (*)

(*)
My uncle and his girlfriend were in something of a similar situation. He didn't want to get married because he was married and divorced 3 times before with his 3rd wife having dumped him and broken his heart. However, with my 4th aunt (who was divorced herself at a young age), she'd been living with my uncle for about 15 years. She finally decided it was time to move on. My uncle woke up and smelled the coffee realizing 1) he was no spring chicken so his fucking around days were over and 2) my 4th aunt is a good woman, so he married her. They were together from 1977ish to 2020 when he died at age 89, so about 43 years. But I don't think they got married until about 30 years ago, if that. So, it is conceivable that you hinting at moving on (and HINT don't issue an ultimatum - yet) is the wake-up call he might need to make him grow-up.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t sound like you two are a match anyways. Things like this happens. And if he’s checking your phone and won’t let you look through his, he’s definitely cheating or talking to some other girl. Because I did the same in the past when I was a cheater.