Is my boyfriend no longer in love with me?

[candycane]

We have been together for almost a year. We overcame a tough start, but lately, I feel a lack of love from him. He rarely says "I love you" unless I do first, doesn’t compliment me, and avoids spending quality time together. When I ask for cuddles, his response is distant and he often leaves for work without a goodbye. I’ve tried discussing my feelings, but he becomes passive-aggressive and blames me. My heart wants to stay, but my head tells me I deserve better. Any ideas?

[Safiazhd]

Men generally want appreciation, trust, encouragement, and approval for their actions, while women often want understanding, devotion, care, and validation. If he has stopped giving you compliments (validation), it might indicate that something you did or didn't do has led to this change. Over the past year, have you expressed appreciation for the things he did for you? Have you thanked him when he paid the bill or helped you with something? There might be a gap in your relationship that has caused him to withdraw, and he might be blaming you because he feels his needs are unmet. This isn't necessarily your fault, but it's important to recognize that both partners have needs and desires, you want validation he probably wants approval.

Also be mindful of how you express your feelings to him. Using “I” statements instead of “you” can prevent sounding accusatory. Alternatively, you might consider writing him a letter to convey your feelings in this way u can think before you speak. Additionally, reading a book called "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" could provide valuable insights and strategies.

[Chevy1_kb]

You are going through the exact same thing I was with my ex it's seems he isn't or he's into another girl I went through this same thing with my ex boyfriend when I was just girlfriend and I found out he was cheating I could tell he was guy feeling I could tell he didn't feel like he wanted a relationship anymore and when I spoke to him about it he got annoyed and a argument would start that's a sign he's guilty and doesn't want to talk about it cause he feels bad and knows he's done wrong that's why he has a bad attitude towards you when you talk about it same as my ex did now me and my ex are just friends with benefits we ain't into each other just still sit together have a laugh and have sex but we get on better as friends instead of lovers but your going through same stuff I did he seems like he's loosing interest yeah sorry for the bad news but I would rather tell the truth than lie hunni

[Purpleronnie]

You don’t really have anything to go on until he speaks about what he is feeling. You have said nothing that specifically points to his lack of affection or communication suggesting his feelings towards you have changed. For all you understand right now if could be something else he is going through separate to you.
All you can do is remind him that you love him and want to support him and when he is ready to open up and speak about where his head you will be there to listen and help if you can and then give him some space. Don’t smother him and automatically assume that it’s got to do with you or his feelings towards you until you know.


I know it’s frustrating but you don’t have anything to go on until he tells you what he is thinking or feeling.

[Anonymous]

It is possible unfortunately and you need to have this talk together and see where to go to next. Ask him to be honest and ask if he loves you. If he says no…. Or if he says he does but it donest feel genuine maybe it’s the end of the relationship. That or maybe you can both work through it.

But. He needs to be honest. He shouldn’t lie saying he loves you too if he doesn’t. Or maybe he loves you. But maybe it’s not the same kind of love. Maybe he loves you as a person but isn’t in love anymore n

[AI Opinion]

Oh, sweetheart, it sounds like you're in a classic conundrum of the heart vs. the head. It's like your relationship boat hit a bit of stormy weather after the honeymoon phase. Remember, affection and quality time are like the sunshine for relationships; without them, things can start to feel pretty chilly.

It's concerning that attempts to discuss your feelings lead to a defensive showdown. Communication is the sexy lingerie of relationships—it should be inviting and leave you feeling good. If he’s strutting the passive-aggressive look instead, that's a fashion faux pas in love language!

You've got the right to crave a partner who showers you with love and doesn't make you question if you're in a solo tango. It might be time to ask yourself: Is this relationship serving you the cocktail of love and respect you deserve, or is it leaving you with a love hang limb?

Sometimes, stepping back gives you the clarity to see if he's really your prince charming or just a frog with potential. Remember, you deserve someone who doesn't make you fight for the affection you freely give. 😘 Keep shining and don't settle for less!

[Finchie40]

You have to do what’s best for you , if you are not happy in a relationship , you are best to express your feelings of concern to your partner , which it sounds like you already have done , if nothing changes after you communicated with them , then you are best to move on and realize you deserve better. To me it sounds like he already has been checking out of that relationship by the things you were describing that he doesn’t you. So you are best to grab your things and leave

[DishLady]

So then perhaps the relationship has run its course and it's time to part ways...

[piano]

I know it's hard when you start feeling unsure about things in your relationship. If you're noticing changes in how he acts—like he's being distant, less affectionate, or not as engaged—it might be making you wonder if he's still in love. But before assuming anything, keep in mind that people go through phases where they might be more stressed or distracted, and it doesn’t always mean they’re losing feelings.

You deserve to feel secure and loved, though. So if something’s been off, it’s probably a good idea to talk to him about it. Just be open about how you’re feeling, and ask him where his head is at. It might be an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s better to know what’s really going on than to keep guessing, right?

[blunty]

Love can fluctuate in intensity over time, and it's natural to feel uncertain in a relationship at times. However, gauging if someone is no longer in love with you requires observing their behavior and communication. Signs that might indicate changes in feelings could include emotional distance, decreased effort, less affection, or avoidance of deeper conversations. If he used to be more engaged and attentive but now seems disconnected or uninterested in spending time together, it might be worth discussing.

However, assumptions can be misleading. By expressing your feelings and asking for clarity, you can address any concerns and ensure both of you are on the same page emotionally.

[CurvyCandice]

You need him
. You aren't getting any younger.




Invest in yourself, and your relationship. Nothing is going to give you a better Return on investment than having someone by your side.




Knowledge is power, you should

[Margaret]

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot together, and sometimes relationships hit those rough patches where things feel off. Maybe he’s just gotten comfortable, and the little things like saying "I love you" or spending quality time together have slipped his mind. It happens, especially when life gets busy. It might help to gently remind him how much those small gestures mean to you.

People show love in different ways, and maybe he thinks his actions are enough, even if they’re not what you’re looking for. A calm, open conversation might help both of you understand each other better and get back on the same page. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of realigning expectations and making sure you’re both feeling good about the relationship.

[ErinEGoodKarma]

no it’s specifically right away doesn’t need toIf you feel unappreciated or taken for granted, it’s okay to focus on yourself a bit more (with any relationship you’re choosing it v needing to be with them).
Also it may not be specific about u versus other things going on in his life. You can have a conversation to see how he’s doing, but do it from the perspective that you care and are making sure he’s okay, rather than talking hoping to help you feel better about the relationship.

[ErinEGoodKarma]

If you feel unappreciated or taken for granted, it’s okay to focus on yourself a bit more (with any relationship you’re choosing it v needing to be with them).
Also it may not be specific about u versus other things going on in his life. You can have a conversation to see how he’s doing, but do it from the perspective that you care and are making sure he’s okay, rather than talking hoping to help you feel better about the relationship.

[nessiee01]

In my opinion, according to what you said - it seems that your boyfriend no longer wants to be in a relationship with you. .


If he is not telling you to leave with his words, he is definitely telling you to leave with his actions.

[nessiee01]

Is he aware of how his behavior has been making you feel? Does he care about how he makes you feel? Does he care that you have been feeling neglected by him? Does he care at all about your feelings? Does he want to do something about it? If he tells you he does want to do something about it , does he make an effort to be consistent? Is he having a difficult time being vulnerable with you? Is he going through something that you may not know? Has he told you how he feels about you lately? .. Is he able to be honest with you about what’s going on with him? Does he know that is damaging the relationship? .. just ideas that may help you see whether there’s hope or not

[nessiee01]

Also, just to add on.. communication with empathy and wanting to comprehend the other.. is necessary too in a relationship. He as well has to want to resolve the issue with you.. in order for you both to work out

[Kelley1]

He already said, "I love you," why should he keep repeating it? You need to stay with what you have. You are not twenty anymore so at your age, better is not available.

[Caroline91]

@Kelley1 Just out of curiosity, why do you think better would not be available at any age?

[Kelley1]

@Caroline91 Because
At 20, we sell it.
At 30, we give it away.
At 40, we buy it.

[Caroline91]

@Kelley1 Nice alliteration. Sure wish I could be nearly as smart and savvy at 32 as I was at 19! Although, being kind is timeless and ageless... Maybe give that some thought?

[Kelley1]

@Caroline91 I state facts. I don't claim that knowing facts equates to wisdom.

[Caroline91]

@Kelley1 The only thing factual about that statement is that the person asking the question is not 20 anymore. The rest of it is your judgement which, at your age is not necessarily based on either experience or wisdom. But, regardless of your age, a bit more logical thinking and just plain asking people with experience would possibly change your perspective to one that more closely matches the real world. And the way you phrased your response was less than kind to a woman who is hurting, at least in my judgement. You could behave in a less callous way. That's all I'm saying.

[Kelley1]

@Caroline91 You are suggesting that I should lie and give her false hope.

In this case, she shouldn't ask the question if she is not prepared for the answer. However, there are times when lying is appropriate. For example, if a girl proudly asks, do you like my new dress and I think it is hideous, I will lie and say, "It looks good on you."

You can claim otherwise till the cows come home but my other statements are facts. It is a fact that younger women are more attractive and more sexually desirable. On this site, men exclaiming how attractive their wives are will sometimes say, "She looks ten years younger." Never do they say, "She looks ten years older."

My grandfather told me that years ago, there was a man that ran a call girl operation on a talk show.
A woman asked, "How old are the girls?"
"Most are late teens and early twenties, the oldest is 26."
"Do you need anyone around thirty?" She asked.
"No!"
"Men tell me they like older women."
"Lady, the men are just being nice. There is no demand for a 30 year old woman."

[Caroline91]

@Kelley1 Well, at least you are entertaining! Many men like younger women because of their naiveté and how easily so many of them can be manipulated. Most men worth having, appreciate a woman who is a big more knowledgeable and mature because she makes a better partner and mother to his children, which is what a man wants when he is ready to settle down. I really don't have anything more to say except, remember you're on your own timer and, according to you, you've got about 10 good years left... lol and just shaking my head. Enjoy your life. I certainly am enjoying mine!

[Kelley1]

@Caroline91 Men don't like younger women because they easy to manipulated. They like them because they are sexy, beautiful, and fertile. If anything older women are easier to manipulate because they are desperate which I may become if I am not married by age 23. I certainly don't intend to wait around hoping for some guy out of my league and find that at age 27; I am just another hide that has lost her bloom.

[Caroline91]

@Kelley1 And by the way, your grandfather's story is no doubt true but has no application to women who aren't call girls or other women in working in the sex industry. It's also largely true for women seeking sugar daddies. Why you would bring that up as proof of anything to do with this discussion as posed by the OP, I don't know. I'm pretty sure she isn't a sex worker. But, I'm kinda over this conversation. So, you have a nice 10 years of relevance.

[MisterWack]

Bring your feelings & emotions to his attention.
You matter in this relationship, I’m sure you matter to him so you can compromise / fix this together.

[Meisdipa]

Why don't you let him know what you feel? And then take it from there.

[LiamJHayden]

"My heart wants to stay, but my head tells me I deserve better."

Follow your head on this.

[DarkLegacy]

I doubt you deserve better and he is not in love with you

[Staximus]

You haven't been together for a year and you already live with him? Do you have a job?

[Enes38]

I think it's time for you to leave and start fresh.

[Anonymous]

Start with you. That's your best bet. Ask him if there's anything YOU are doing wrong, have done wrong. Ask if there's anything you can do

[noohair]

He is not changing. The only person you can change is yourself. So accept what you have or move on.

[Fumnlethedogg]

Sounds like you are fornicating with him, in which case, the love that was ever possibly there, has probably died so long ago it’s not even funny.

[PeachyPie93]

Best to leave. Guys like that never change.

[dustybiker2]

He's pulled away. You notice. Listen to your gut.

[Emanon25]

It sounds like he doesn’t love you anymore.

[Ironco]

You are in your 40s, don't play childish games.

[kadeenn163]

hey guys wtatd up

[eagle1951]

sounds like it

[RHK36]

Move on

[Luckycharms12]

Leave

[OhLongJohnsoning]

prob.