I don’t think my boyfriend is in love or happy with me anymore?

[Anonymous]

hi ya’ll, my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years. it’s not always been easy, i’m not the most confident person and i don’t see myself as the greatest person. so the stuff i’m about to tell you might be low class struggles, but to me, for some reason the biggest deal. my boyfriend DMed girls in the past complimenting them on how pretty they are, and liked a bunch of bikini and booty pictures of girls and followed a bunch of them as well. i know this is not a big deal, but for someone who’s not confident, it is a big deal. i hate that he did this and i can’t get it out of my head. it’s been going on from 2015-2019. i asked him why he did it and he said bc he was stupid, young and didn’t know if we would last. in my head if you didn’t think you would last with someone, why not just break up? that’s what frustrated me even more. so all these years all i’ve done is bring it up to him. i always say why did you do it, why didn’t you just break up with me? he would say bc he didn’t want to. it’s always in my head. well all of this week i’ve noticed that we are not the same as usual. he barely touches me, barely kisses me, barely has sex with me, barely calls/texts me and barely hangs out with me. i know those problems are not the biggest deal but it makes me sad. i’m dying to let it go bc he has changed now and wouldn’t do what he did back than now. a big part of me feels bad about doing this to him, but another part of me is really mad at him for doing it. i’ve asked him if he ever physically cheated on me and he said no. i’m sad and I don't know what to do. please be nice when responding lol

[Twalli]

If you don't know a relationship will last at the begining, doesn't mean it won't last. If you've been together 6 years, it is lasting. If he stopped once he felt you would last, that's good. It looks like he did. I'm not sure why he wasn't sure you would last for 4 years, but be that as it may... he stopped. Maybe tell him that you don't fee loved like you used to, and you want to again. If you both discuss how he can make you feel loved, he may be able to express it.
A funny story is that my girlfriend didn't feel that I said "I love you" enough when we were together. I said it every time we talked on the phone, but not when we were physically together. My mom made me say it twice a day when we were walking my dog, but not at the start. So once when we were just about to leave my driveway I yelled "How about now?" and now that's a joke between us that is equivelant to saying "I love you".

[Asker]

i don’t think he’s happy with me anymore though. we barely talk anymore. i tried calling him twice to see how he’s feeling and he didn’t answer. i’ve mentioned that we don’t talk much to him like two weeks ago and he said “yeah because you’re a negative person” meaning i bring up the past way too much

[Anonymous]

whenever i talk to other women it's to give advice and that's about it. i don't follow to many

[Asker]

what advice do you have for me?

[Opinion Owner]

have you ever talked to him about it and how it makes you feel? tell the jackass to stop following other women that it upsets you

[Asker]

oh yes i have talked to him about it and before he didn’t care, but he has stopped mainly bc he doesn’t have an instagram anymore lol

[Opinion Owner]

if he was or still is following women it's because something you're doing or not doing is upsetting him or making him mad or sad

[Asker]

maybe being his peace? he has told me a couple of times that i’m not bc all i do is nag him about everything!!! he has told me that he walks on eggshells around me bc he’s scared he’ll say something that i’ll upset me. which is true. since i’m not confident in myself i get annoyed and mad easily. not only the following girls thing but also i nag him for not going out on dates anymore or going on adventures

[Opinion Owner]

honestly i walk on eggshells around mine because i'm afraid of her and her emotional and mental abuse. she causes me so much heartache and pain and anxiety and fear fear of losing her fear of her being with other guys it scares the shit out of me because of how much i love her

[Asker]

awww that makes me so sad to hear that 🥺 have you tried talking to her about it?

[Opinion Owner]

whenever i see her with another guy it hurts tremendously it hurts deeply the pain is excruciating. i've cried so much i've laid in bed almost every night crying broke my long time sobriety because i couldn't stand the pain she was causing me anymore and all the hurt from her being with another guy that it effected me

[Asker]

wait a min. did she cheat on you with another guy? or do you mean a guy friend?

[Opinion Owner]

i am deeply afraid of her sometimes as strange as this sounds even physically afraid of her even though we live in different states. her mental and emotional abuse is so hard that all she does is pushes and pushes as hard as she can sometimes like purposely to drive me away. it kills me inside each time i see her with another guy that i spend most of my time crying from sheer heartbreak and pain and hurt i laid in bed or sat on the sofa just crying from how much pain and hurt she's caused me. looking at pictures of her with another guy is hell on earth

[Opinion Owner]

or seeing videos of her with another guy is hell on earth

[Opinion Owner]

she's with another guy and it kills me inside seeing that. it's heartbreaking i been relapsing on my sobriety just to end the pain. christ i been taking muscle relaxers hoping to stop my heart so i would die in my sleep and i wouldn't have to feel pain anymore

[Asker]

from my own experience, the reason you feel like that is bc you’re letting her have all the power over you. if she has a boyfriend she shouldn’t be having any guy friends. to me that’s very disrespectful. guy friends don’t have any self respect for their girl friends. why? bc once you and her have a problem, she’ll go to him to talk about you and he’ll be happy in his own head bc if anything goes wrong he’ll want to smash. she wouldn’t be okay if you have any girl friends right? guy acquaintances is fine, but actually hangout with a guy one on one is very sketchy

[Opinion Owner]

which she has done hang out with other guy

[Opinion Owner]

sometimes i think to myself i should just take the whole damn bottle of muscle relaxers at once instead of spreading it out over the course of multiple days like i been doing

[Asker]

i would tell her that it’s disrespectful. tell her she wouldn’t like it if you’d hangout with girls alone right? tell her it’s rude and disrespectful that she’s hangout with guys alone when she has you

[Opinion Owner]

she got pissed when i followed big breasted women on instagram last year even though she continuously cheats on me

[Opinion Owner]

when she told me it upset her i was following those women i stopped out of respect for her but then she was acting distant and still trying to screw around with different guys so i started following them again then she said how it upset her i refollowed them so i stopped following them out of respect for her and her emotions. but she still goes out with other guys which upsets me

[Asker]

why are you with her if all she does is cheat on you and disrespects you?

[Opinion Owner]

love

[Anonymous]

Communication is key. Have a talk with him