I think my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore. What should I do ?

[cotton]

We've been dating for over a year. At first, he showed how much he cared about everything he did. But for months now, he's barely shown any affection. He won't say "I love you" unless I say it: no compliments, no hugs, no kisses unless I initiate. When I bring it up, he gets defensive. Is he falling out of love or am I overthinking? How do you think I should handle this?

[BullShark]

I wouldn't jump the gun just yet, if I were you, because unlike most women, most guys aren't not as vocal about their feelings with the women they love, and no, this has nothing to do with how long you've both been together. As a guy myself, when something else's on my mind and I can't function properly, being flirty and expressive about my feelings is the least of my concerns. Does it mean I don't love her anymore? Absolutely not. It's just that I don't feel like bothering her with the burden of my troubles and I'm afraid I may say something wrong.

So how can you fix that and see how he actually feels? Instead of expecting HIM to be all touchy feely like you want him to be, come sit with him next time you see him. Offer him to lay his head down in your lap and play with his hair while you urge him to talk to you and tell you what's bothering him. Ask him if everything's okay and that you've noticed him acting "not himself" lately. All he probably needs is a safe space to let his walls down and unload his stress, so let him! Then see how he goes back to the same man who wasn't afraid to show you exactly how he feels about you once he knows you're there for him.

[VIVANT]

She said he doesn’t do things unless she initiates.

And she said he was very vocal earlier.

So it isn’t that “he’s just not that kind of person” and it’s not that she is not initiating things

He just is acting very different

And there really isn’t guys don’t do things like women… there are simply different personality structures. Depends.

So all we know based on what’s written here is, is he was one way, now he’s another.

[BullShark]

@VIVANT as I said, he might just be having something on his mind that's bothering him. No use ruining something by jumping to conclusions and taking things in a negative sense unless you have solid proof that he really doesn't love her anymore or if he's just not interested.

Seriously, the solution to literally 90% of all relationship problems is communication and it shocks me how a lot of couples don't just talk to each other and continue cooking up ridiculous scenarios in their heads and then getting worked up over literally nothing.

And before you say something like "maybe he doesn't want to talk" in which case, unless he's said so himself, that's just another case of lack of communication and misinformation. But if he did say so, then there's your answer right there.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry but sometimes this happens.

But before you jump to conclusions I would really carefully see what’s going on in recent personal life. Did he have anything really negative happen (career struggles, family problems, etc.).

I remember I was going through a transitionary period in my life when I was dating my ex girlfriend. I really needed to be single at the time to deal with it. But at the same time I really loved her and I knew she was a very high quality woman. Deep down I didn’t feel “worthy” of her at the time.

I knew breaking up with her would devastate her. So instead I drove her into dumping me. As twisted as it sounds I wanted to make it easier to move on from me.

That actually was one of the worst romantic decisions I ever made in my entire life in hindsight (long story). But it is what it is.

Anyway unless he’s got another life issue going on he might indeed be losing feelings. I know that’s horrible and heartbreaking but it happens.

My advice is to give him space. Make him think about this more. I know it’s human nature to want to chase something we are losing. But that unfortunately can make it even worse and drive them away.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I don't know your guy or how well you know him but he is one of two things. Or how he was earlier was just him flirting to get you, and not how he actually is. It means he still loves you but it isn't him to express it like that. Or he has fallen out of love, like you said. But I don't know the guy, so I'm not going to jump to conclusions.

[Alwayreckles93]

Ok listening I will say it again. When a man loves you he loves you. If he doesn't love you he don't love you. I've learn this the hard way you just can NOT forced a guy to love you. I know it sounds sad but it's the truth.

[AI Opinion]

Hey there, relationship whisperer here! It sounds like you've hit a glitch in the love matrix, but don't panic just yet. 🚦 Relationships can sometimes be like roller coasters—lots of ups and downs. His behavior could be a sign of him feeling comfortable, or maybe he's just in a funk. It's definitely not a green flag. Communicate your feelings without triggering his defenses. Maybe suggest a fun activity to rekindle the spark! Remember, you're worth all the lovebombing! 💕 Communication is key. Keep it smooth and from the heart.

[Finchie40]

He might be dealing with stress , did something bad happen to him recently? If so, that will usually play a part as to why he has been acting that way , have a sit down talk with him and express your feelings of concern to him , ask him if everything is alright and tell him you notice a change in him, tell him you feel like you are the only one initiating things in the relationship, Hopefully he will open up to you and tell you what’s been bothering him , if he doesn’t , then he doesn’t truly love you anymore. Communication is very important in a relationship, if your partner can not open up to you and tell You what is wrong , then they only care about themselves and don’t really care about you. If that’s the case , you are best to walk to other way and move on.

[jennifer_bloom]

The best bet is to cut off communication and stop giving him privileges. See if that makes him know what he is missing, or if it is time to find a guy that is more into you.

[Purpleronnie]

Sounds like he is dealing with something that isn’t necessarily about you or the relationship. Until he talks about it you just have to be patient and remind him that you’re there for him when he needs to tell you what’s eating at him.
Should much time pass where he continues to do the same then you will have to sit him down again and remind him of the same but appeal to him to consider how this is affecting you and that you need him to communicate.


Should he STILL not want to then you escalate to separate from him until he can help you understand. Relationships cannot be one sided and he needs to understand that if he wants to be in a relationship then he needs to be able to communicate. If he can’t , then the relationship is over.

[lightbulb27]

tell us about the emotional side of the relationship. Absent a problem there, he just needs reminded of how to sustain a relationship and discipline. put it on his calendar, repetition.

he's prossibly getting cold feet facing what's next. So figure out what is going on, communicate.

[bjork]

It sounds like something has shifted, and it’s important to address it. If he gets defensive when you bring it up, it could be a sign that he’s avoiding the issue. Have a calm, honest conversation about how his behavior is making you feel, and see if things can be worked through.

[cotton]

thanks

[derrick]

It sounds like something’s changed, but instead of assuming he’s falling out of love, talk to him openly. Ask him how he’s feeling and express how his behavior is making you feel. If he gets defensive, it could be a sign of something deeper communication is key here.

[cotton]

thanks bro

[molonski2]

I'd say " Sabai Sabai " life has many challenges , he could be going though a stressful time and does not want to burden you with it.
It's only been a couple of months , take it gently and work things back to where they were , he will come around , life goes in waves.

[SeekerOfTruth007]

He never loved you. All he wanted was your pussy. lol @ you for thinking most men even care what love is. Most women don't either. What you call "love" is just lust.

Love is when you actually put someone else's feelings and needs before your own, which again almost nobody does even if they know that, they don't do it.

[disappoint3d]

Real talk. The only people most people are ACTUALLY capable of loving is their kids/parents.

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

Your profile says you're a soldier. Is your boyfriend also a soldier? Is he carrying out some extremely difficult, emotionally draining duty right now? Did he maybe just get back from deployment? Is he possibly suffering from depression or PTSD as a result of something he might have done, or might be doing?

These are all guesses, but if your boyfriend is in the military, it's at least possible.

Hope it works out.

[virgo2267]

Depends on how soon you guys have gotten intimate… physically, perhaps fucked already?
If under 30, most dudes just want to get in your pants. But make no mistake, a man is not defined by their looks, they are defined by their values and if you don’t feel valued then you must be dating some perhaps closer to your age

[blackjack]

It sounds like he might be pulling away, and if he gets defensive when you bring it up, that's a red flag. You shouldn’t have to constantly initiate affection. It’s important to have a serious conversation, but if things don’t change, you might need to rethink if this is the right relationship for you.

[cotton]

right

[Daniela1982]

The honeymoon is over apparently. Time to move on.

[Ariesman81]

Oh no... the tricks aren't working anymore!

[chrissykerdock]

sounds he needs blowjobs that should spark his interest

[HoldingtheSword]

Great answer

[chrissykerdock]

@HoldingtheSword true isn't it

[disappoint3d]

You are doing the Lord's work with this answer

[RiseofArtemis]

You know what, try doing something that will take him offguard, like wanting to just cudle with him on the Sofa while he watches TV. Saying nothing the whole time and see what he does there.

[DJB72]

What else is going on in his life? It sounds like he's suffering from a moderate depression.

Communication is the key. He may not be aware of his behaviour.

[Miristheiss]

Believe actions not words.

Even if the words are sweet unless they are backed up by action then don't pay them any mind.

[Flower7]

Why stay with him if you’re not happy with how he treats you?

[AlinaJanowska18]

You can not push someone to love you , but you can find new person who give you true love 💕

[YourExLover69]

I agree with chrissy. Daily Blowjobs can make his life spicy.

[HoldingtheSword]

Another great answer

[LiamS95]

It's fine to confront him and ask him outright. Thst nsg be tge only way to get a straight answer.

[SotiCoto]

Whatever the hell you want to do. Nobody cares.

[magiusX26]

he has completed the "honeymoon" phase. welcome to reality.

[KrakenAttackin]

Do you do anything at all other than just show up? Most women do about 5% of the work in a relationship and it gets fucking old.

[ehatsham_hussain]

These ups and downs are nature of relationship,,
Just do your best and don't think too much.

[kaucky1]

These insecurities they have you done nothing wrong

[Pohjolan]

Maybe find out if there is something else amiss.

[Maningray]

You have to ask him to his feelings about you. If that feelings are not exist anymore. You have to go with your own way.

[Ifdyourmom]

Be happy that you at least have a boyfriend

#single

[disappoint3d]

But you f'd my mom

[Ifdyourmom]

@disappoint3d That doesn't mean I'm in a relationship

[HoldingtheSword]

Oh I'm sorry about that, maybe you should meet better men like me.

[disappoint3d]

*better man*: is 14

[Anonymous]

Move on. He probably already has

[AustColombiangirl]

find another cock to start riding

[Pterodon]

Nothing you can do but accept it

[Crazzyyworld]

Did you gain weight?

[disappoint3d]

Fair point

[shortster]

Find a new one