I got emotional when I watched a TV show called "Time of death", it follows the last days or months of someone who's terminal. I got emotional as the mom gave her speech in which she expressed how horrible it was to see her son rapidly deteriorate from cancer, and fade away.
It also made me think about my childhood dog, Katie. She ended up getting sicker and sicker as her pancreas started shutting down and she could hardly walk down the stairs. She was my dog from 2007-2020. As previously mentioned, I never fit in, anywhere, Katie was my everything.
I was closer to her than most people are with their siblings, I hated being away from her, and she always howled, cried out and desperately lunged at me every time I left for school. She'd wait by the window for me, jump up, wagging her tail, and as I come in, there was a love seat by the door She'd run up, stand on, and lick me. She'd put her two paws on my shoulders to do it.
When I had surgery and was in the hospital, she refused to leave my room, even to use the bathroom and when I came back, she always cuddled so close to me and I'd always hold her close. Seeing her condition worsen and her strength fade was so hard. I'd have to carry her up and down the stairs, she'd be scared to try to walk down them.
Then I'd have to bring food up to her, her worry and sorrow always on her face as I desperately tried to comfort her. Then the day came, I remember how even in her last moments, she looked up and licked me as i told her how much I loved her, and how I'd never forget her.
I see now that although I have dogs now and love them, Katie's death burned the deepest hole in my heart.
I'm not ashamed to admit that my eyes are quite wet as I write this, and I sobbed as I looked at this photo taken days before her death. Seeing her nose, her eyes, I really loved her. To Katie, I will always remember you, thank you for loving me, thank you for staying with me, and thank you for being my dog❤️
This is an important topic and, as usual, i believe that this question should get a “great” promotion. This is such an important topic that i answer this question even when it is asked by anons. Men SHOULD cry. It’s not just a perfectly normal and natural function. Crying is a necessity to the full human experience. Denying ourselves this fundamental experience is literally self destructive. However, there are limitations to when, where and why men can and should cry, and maybe most importantly… with whom. NEVER cry in front of women or strangers of either sex. That will never work out in your favor. Only cry with a woman once you KNOW that she has pre-approved your reasoning AND the depth of your sorrow. If you cry for a reason not pre-approved or you cry too hard or too little about an otherwise approved reason, you will be condemned for all eternity. No, that’s neither a joke nor hyperbole. 100% of women expect to control 100% of your emotions to their own benefit. If your emotions do not benefit them at any time, your expression of them is forbidden. Zero exceptions exist. Get over it. You CAN express any and every emotion in the presence of a close MALE friend or relative. Only they get it. There is, however, a caveat, and you might not necessarily know what you have when you most need to know. If you make the wrong call, you might find yourself talking to a wall, wondering how the whole neighborhood knows your most intimate vulnerabilities and why nobody wants to talk to you ever again. Other than to extort money from you or to help you arrange your own untimely demise. These truths are ultimately why most men choose stoicism. You MIGHT be criticized for being too stoic, but people won’t shame and/or abandon you for it. This is the only way you will ever find people who will actually accept you when you do need to offload your bullsh*t. Anyone who suggests that a man’s experience with crying is different from this is ignorant or selling something. No exceptions. This IS the male experience and there is absolutely no indication that this is going to change at any time in the foreseeable future. Learn to deal or excuse yourself from the program. These are your only options.
I never cried in front of a girl, and I'd feel ashamed to do so unless she's committed to me romantically, or someone I've known for a very long time.
No, I do my mourning in private, like this, for all the reasons you mentioned. I learned not to be as vulnerable with strangers in my personal life but here, it's easier to vent and let go.
The only time I could see myself crying in front of a stranger is if something so horrible happened, I lost everyone and was in a bar. Like if I had a daughter and she died of cancer, and my wife had left, if that happened, it's possible but I consider both those unlikely to happen
Agreed. This is why men need male mentors and friends WAY more than we need women. For guys who don’t have close friendships, a priest, pastor, teacher or coach can be helpful. And it should consistently be the same one or two people. As much as you don’t want to unload all your crap on one person, that first confession with anyone is riddled with anxiety. Which just makes it that much harder to get sh*t off your chest at all. It’s also important to BE that friend if you need that kind of friend. Nobody wants to wake up to find out a friend killed himself only to wonder if there was anything that they could have done to prevent it.
Crying is OK for men only if we're also rolling on the floor laughing at some dumbphuck who just did something so incredibly stupid that all of us just can't keep it together.
I'm not seeing how videos of clumsy people getting hurt relates to painful events or situations which may provoke someone to shed tears, and what constitutes an acceptable way for a man to deal with it
To deal with what? Pain? Horror? Acceptable responses for men? Silence! Internal reflection. Suck it up and move forward. Anything less is not acceptable. That's just the way it is.
I get a tear in my eye when I drive through a couple of memorial avenues and think of the poor bastards in WWI. 20KM of trees for fallen soldiers. I kinda think it is appropriate.
I find it particularly sad that many of the trees for fallen soldiers have fallen 108-112 years on. Lest we forget.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
4 mo
Yes, it’s okay for us to cry. Unless you ask compensating men.
9 girls and 19 guys voted yes its okay.
The minority 6 guys who voted no, totally have issues they need sorted out and shouldn’t inflict those insecurities onto their fellow man.
In those circumstances, it's OK to cry. Although, not at a TV show. You need to watch more masculine stuff on the telly and man up. Especially with your girlfriend. You don't want her thinking you're a fairy or a wuss.
A: I'm single and never cried in front of a girl who's not my mom before and that was at a funeral in real life.
B: I felt emotional about the TV show cause it showed actual cases of terminal cancer patients and shows as they die.
C: A wuss hides his feelings and keeps it in, then takes it out on the girl he marries, later, I won't be that way, I'd rather make myself comfortable with hard parts of life, like sickness and death now, rather than have it hurt me more than it happens to someone I care about
Men who think men should not cry are just very insecure about their manhood. Everyone experiences emotional hurt, even the toughest men on the planet. I can't believe this is something even still discussed in 2026.
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