Search Results: worried about looks

okay, here's some background knowledge. he's 3 years older then me,4 grades higher, and my sister is 2 years older then me and 1 year younger and 2 grades behind from him. lets call him pineapple. so pineapple is much closer to my sister then me. for example, he follows her insta and always gives her second opinions on her photos, and she follows him back and they go through eachothers phones sometimes. but i also noticed her usually doesn't look at my sister a lot, but mostly at me. pineapple also pulled up a picture of himself flexing in the mirror, and me being curious i said 'why are you looking at muscly men bro' and then he said 'thats me-?' and i just looked embarrassingly away. also on my sisters side she always act so.. different around pineapple like bubbly- and with this snob tone. but! pineapple hates when anyone is left alone like he's protective about everyone-. buttt when we went skiing and i was left alone he said' bro why'd (brothers name) leave you he wasn't supposed to' and then i said 'he told me i was too slow' and then pineapple ended up waiting for someones to watch me (this because i have a very bad sense of direction) and i ended up getting lost and getting level 2 frostbite and early stages of hypothermia, and once i told our group that pineapple looked almost surprised and worried. now on new years pineapples buddy, grape, fell asleep on my hand. and pineapple kept like side-eyeing us a bit, and i was confused since i was out of it. also also! we were going to play ghosts in the grave yard but my brother didn't want to team up with me since it was uneven so i ended up going to my room, changing out of my dress and watching squid game, but little did i know they ended going inside and not playing. and im still wondering why! but the more i think about it he likes my sister more then me. is this because of my age gap or is since i shy away a lot? grape also liked my sister whom i look like?

My cousin is transgender, and I suspect the guy I was talking to had a sexual interest in transgender women based on things I noticed about him. I opened up to her about how his actions, along with other things he did, left me feeling hurt, unattractive, and not good enough. He ghosted me, and on top of that, I realized he had other sexual preferences that I wasn’t aware of.

I shared my feelings with my cousin, but I still have conflicting emotions about it all. At one point, I even asked her to look at his social media to see if I had missed anything, but then I told her to forget it because I didn’t fully trust her. I worried she might talk about me behind my back, and the thought of that triggered a breakdown because, despite everything, I still have strong feelings for him and just want to feel like I’m enough for him.

However, she went ahead and looked anyway. I found out through my mother that my cousin had not only checked his social media but even attempted to reach out to him. When I confronted my mother, she dismissed my feelings and defended my cousin, saying she would never do anything like that—despite her actions proving otherwise. My mother then tried to gaslight me, saying things like, “I’m sure you’ve done things too,” which was incredibly hurtful.

It broke my heart because I would never betray a family member like that or try to interfere with someone they had been involved with.