Search Results: have very strong feelings for him

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend is participating in a sports tournament in another city this weekend, and he’s invited me to join him from Friday to Sunday. I’m torn about whether or not to go because I’m struggling with some personal family issues and have been having a tough time lately. I’m also feeling like I wouldn’t want to stay at home alone. If I do decide to go, he mentioned that it would be good if I could participate in the tour with him.

Here are my thoughts on whether to go or not:

Reasons to Go:

Change of Scenery: A new place might help lift my spirits and provide a welcome distraction.
Support: I’d love to watch him play and support him in a sport I care about.
Understanding His World: I want to see what his sports tours are like. I sometimes struggle with insecurities, and I worry about him being safe and whether there might be issues like cheating.

New Experience: This could be a fun and unique experience for me.

Reasons Not to Go:

Social Concerns: I don’t know his friends very well and tend to be shy in social situations. I’m worried about not fitting in and being stuck there all weekend if I don’t connect with them.

Tour Responsibilities: I’m concerned about being labelled as a “tour virgin,” with responsibilities like handling food and beverages. There will also be a couple of new guys that are going and 1 family with mother and son going along with the dad. My boyfriend said I might not have many duties, but the thought still worries me.

I’d appreciate any advice or thoughts on what you think might be the best course of action. Or if you have any suggestions on how I can ease my anxiety would be great too thank you.

Thanks!

While book-smarts or street-smarts help a person in specific ways, Emotional Intelligence is what we use most in the real world -- it's the mindfulness, awareness and processing ability we have for both our feelings and the feelings of others.

Current research indicates that those with higher levels of EI draw others towards them... They're people who others genuinely want to be around for the long haul -- at work/school/relationships. Their kindness and compassion towards others shine through their EI, as does their ability to own up to their own decisions (instead of blaming them on others) and to treat others with respect and dignity.

Here 's a quick 20-point quiz for you guys and gals -- the most common signs of EI

(+1 for each point you "sort of understand" and +2 for each point you're really good at):

• Being able to know and accept yourself for who you are (with all your quirks and experiences)...
• Being able to accept responsibility for your actions and decisions...
• Being able to accept change as a standard part of life...
• Being able to control emotions rather than raging and lashing out and flying off the handle with verbal/physical outbursts...
• Being able to forgive yourself -- to show yourself some grace -- by leaving past mistakes in the past...
• Being able to talk through problems and challenges with others...
• Being aware of your own strengths -- and being able to admit to them...
• Being aware of your own weaknesses -- and being able to admit to them...
• Being modestly confident and poised -- and keeping your cool in challenging situations...
• Showing empathy and compassion -- putting yourself in another person’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective...

The scoring goes by 5s (see the poll, which keeps answers anonymous). Don't share your score in comments if you don't want to.

(Those with a low score wondering how to raise EI can search Google for free materials that are very helpful.)