Search Results: tough times

I spent 2 years with a guy who initially said he didn’t want a relationship, but we eventually fell in love. He treated me like his girlfriend—introducing me to friends and family, celebrating birthdays with surprises, traveling together, being deeply intimate, and talking every day. He listened to my problems and helped me through tough times. I truly believed we had something real, and from the outside, it seemed like the perfect relationship.

But over time, he started pulling away, prioritizing friends and family over me. He bluntly told me, “I won’t marry you,” and then left for Iraq, saying he’d been honest from the start about going back to his country. When I asked about trying long-distance, he called me a burden, criticized me for my family issues, and even said he had to tell me what to do about a cockroach in my condo. He claimed I should have understood when he said he wouldn’t marry me. I begged him to reconsider, but he quickly moved on, even saying we could still be “friends on Facebook.”

He’s already back on dating apps, seemingly unaffected by our breakup. Now I’m wondering—was I being used? Was I wrong to think we had something real? What kind of person moves on so easily?

I met Brad in Nov 2023 through a dating app & we were long-distance until I moved closer to his city in March-June. We were living together & things were going alright. Whenever we had issues, they tended to get resolved relatively quickly. A few people were worried that he was controlling since all his exes said he was manipulative, etc. He proposed to me in May.

My sister came in June to move me back home unexpectedly since I was done with school & I didn't tell my family about him beforehand, so that was the first time they had met. She didn't like him for various reasons. We left so he could meet the rest of my family & they didn't like him either for multiple reasons. Brad was expecting me to leave with him that day since we agreed/made a plan. I chose to stay with my family because my mom said she needed me due to a heart issue & they wanted to do a party that honored them in the community. Brad felt betrayed & still is holding onto it to this day.

This whole time, it's been a rollercoaster between Brad & me since he feels like what I'm doing is wrong, there's no reason for us not to see each other physically until the party, & my family is using the party in Sept as an excuse to end/separate us. I spoke with my mom recently & she agreed it was an excuse for the last couple of months since she hoped we would end by now. Since we're still together, she is now working on it, but I feel betrayed, don't want to do it anymore, & want to leave to be with Brad, even though that would put me in a tough position if we were to divorce since my family would disown me.

Brad has also tried to leave the relationship a few times & followed other girls on social media since he was upset about all this. He said that the party needed to happen this month, as my mom promised, or else he'd end the relationship seriously unless I left to be with him. My mom went to the venue, and their available date is Dec. I don't know what to do; please help, i miss him :(